Anomaly of an Orange Life

Hello? HELLO? Is this thing still on?

2012-01-06T13:53:00.002-05:00

So what seems like a long time ago in a place far far away I started a blog. I felt I needed to say a lot of things and I felt like I wanted people to read them.

And then life happened. In a different way than what I had anticipated. Things have been great, not so great. Down right awful. But - that's life. Or my life at least.

And THEN suddenly, one day very recently I decided I needed to blog again. The problem? I don't have a "thing" I need to blog about. Before it was about my medical journey with my day to day life thrown in. But, thankfully, a majority of my major medical journey is hopefully over.

Right now though I have something really big coming up soon. Like way sooner than I ever imagined. It always seemed like something that would happen in the future. The super distant future. A future I would laugh about with my friends as we enjoyed all of our awesome 20's.

Yes, that's right. The dreaded 29.1.

Some people *ahem* Miller *cough*cough* add letters onto the 29, but then I would truly forget what age I am when I got to like 29H. So after some debate I went with the number system.

It seems like just yesterday I was telling my little itty bitty baby brother that when he was graduating high school and was 18 I would be this mysterious 29.1. And he would call me OLD and we would laugh because it was SO far away and would almost never happen for at least another eleventybillion years. And he's almost 18. Graduation is in June for him. And May brings the 29.1.

Ok. I do have a point to all this besides lamenting about how fast time is flying and how nauseating it is making me.

I am not big on resolutions, but I have been wanting to make some life changes lately. With this whole big life event coming up soon I've decided to take my friend Amanda's brilliant idea to break things down month by month and set some goals for myself. So each month I will posting new set of FIVE personal goals and at the end of each month of will write about how it's gone. I may even give some updates during, because I DO want to start blogging more. For real this time.

Here goes *big DEEP sigh*

January 5th-February 5th

1. Eat out ONE time per week (drinks with the girls do not count as long as I don't order food)

2. Do one house related project per week (paint frames, fixing bathroom caulk, painting trim, cleaning out a room, etc)

3. Drink 64 oz of water every single day.

4. Keep a food journal for 5 days a week every week.

5. Scan 5 photos (as a minimum) 5 days a week every week.

Ok, there it is. Notice I am doing a lot of things in 5's. I like the number 5. I like numbers. It's how I function - to count things out, to find a way to incorporate things via numbers.

And yes, yesterday I DID drink 64oz of water and kept a food journal! Yay!!

Wish me luck!

*hugs and love*

May the Fourth Be With You

2010-05-04T21:03:00.002-04:00

I kept reading this today on facebook and had NO idea WHY people kept saying this. I mean, there is a fourth of EVERY month.

Then my coworker said it and I was like "seriously, no one said that in April!!" He was like "right, but it's MAY... MAY the fourth be with you (odd, "are you really this stupid" look in my general direction)..."

Yes, yes I am.

*hangs head in shame*

This reminds me of this time I realized what the phrase "shut your mouth when you are talking to me" REALLY meant. I heard it when we saw "Talladega Nights" with a bunch of friends. It wasn't until a little over a YEAR later that someone said it to me (for the millionth time) that it somehow clicked and I blurted out... "wait, you CAN'T talk if your mouth is shut." No one realized I didn't get it because I giggled whenever I heard it. But I giggled because I thought it was stupid and didn't make sense.

*le sigh*

And THIS is how I consider starting my semi return to blogging. I will try to keep doing this once a week and no more than a two week break in between. But who am I kidding? It will probably be another month again. :-)

Speaking of months, it is MAY.

My birthday is in MAY. Which means... it's my BIRTHDAY MONTH!! Yayayay!!

Yes, I am that person.

*hugs and kisses*

Whatever Lola wants...

2010-04-17T22:46:00.002-04:00

Lola gets...

And my new bike is named Lola.

She is an ORANGE Felt Cafe 8 Deluxe.

There is a stock photo. I'll post more photos of her later.

We went on an 11.5 mile ride today on the Rail Trail with Josh. She was FANTASTIC.

In other bike related news, tomorrow is Josh's first race of the season. Wish him luck!!

*hugs and kisses*

Still alive.

2010-03-28T19:42:00.004-04:00

I promise. Just busy and trying to get all my life into a groove. Unfortunately for my readers, but fortunately for my "real" life, I have been busy and active. The weather has been mostly nice enough to be outside exercising and enjoying it. There has also been lots of work for me as well at the shop, and our house has been grossly neglected on the cleaning end.

When I think I can handle some computer time without letting it get overwhelming I'll come back more regularly. Until then I leave you with this photo from me today. I was "dressing up" a bit for Easter with the in laws.

And here I am driving our BRAND NEW 2010 Mazda 3, 5-door, 6-speed. It is STICK people. I drove it for 30 minutes ish with several stops(lights and signs), merging on a highway, getting off a highway, passing cars and driving on back roads with only ONE problem. I popped the clutch pulling out from a stop sign on a hill. Josh told me he'd give me a B+ overall. WHOA.

I don't really drive stick EVER, so this is a HUGE accomplishment. What better time to learn than when you are 27 and have already been driving for 11 years right??

*hugs and kisses*

Learning to Ride a Bike

2010-03-16T23:47:00.003-04:00

No not me. I know how to ride a bike. In fact I have owned several bikes. The first one I remember was pink with a pink banana seat with white hibiscus flowers and a white basket that had pink flowers on it. I put these little neon colored pieces of plastic on the spokes that clacked when I rode.

Behind the seat was a raised metal bar that my Pap (grandfather) would hold onto while I rode. No training wheels for this girl. One day he just let go. I looked back and realized he was gone. I was so happy until I totally wasn't watching and rode right off the sidewalk and crashed. Good thing Pap was a great cheerleader and got me right back on the bike. It is such a great memory I will always cherish.

A couple weekends ago we took our friend's daughter to Cycleworks in Wrightsville, PA. She's almost big enough for one size bike, and a little too big for the size down. She rode the littler bike for a while because it had training wheels.

She leans a little to the side, but she's new. She'll get the hang of it.

Unfortunately although she liked the little purple bike, it wouldn't have lasted long as she would have outgrown it too quickly.

Luckily they had a used bike in the next size up that was in the basement. No training wheels on that one, so she needed daddy's help.

Still got that lean. :-)

She was a little overwhelmed with all the grown ups talking so I grabbed her and we went to the front of the store to have a little alone girl talk. Very maturely we discussed the two bikes. Did she like the purple one because of the color and how it rode, or because it had training wheels? Or was she ok with the white and pink bike, but just wasn't comfortable because of the lack of training wheels that could be put on.

After some very adult discussions (she's only 5) and some snuggling, we called her mom up to talk about our decision. She then called daddy and Josh up to let them all know. We had decided that the pink and white bigger bike was what she wanted, but she wanted training wheels. Smart girl.

Well luckily, not only did they have some training wheels for the used bike, BUT they also had a brand new bike that was the same (just a year newer). Hmmm. Mommy and daddy were looking for a bike for her grandmother's house too. After some discussions with the bike guys, they agreed to lower the price on both if they bought both bikes.

So our little goober got a brand new bike for her parent's house and the same bike in the used version for her grandparent's house!!

The newer bike is in the foreground.

I only hope we can create some fun memories for her when she's older that she will look back on fondly as I do mine.

Love you my little goober.

*hugs and kisses*

Gaper Day 2010

2010-03-16T21:57:00.006-04:00

Say what? A "gaper" according to urban dictionary is

1. A gaper is a skiier or snowboarder who is completely clueless. Usually distiungished by their bright colored clothes and a gaper gap, the gap between goggles and a helment/hat. Gapers also do the "Gaper Tuck" which is an attempt at being a ski racer by tucking, however, it is done incorrectly with the poles sticking straight up like thunderbolts and lighting, very very frightning! Gapers also sit at the bottom of jumps and try and go big off table tops in the park.

2. A skier or snowboarder who sucks and is usually spotted wearing clothing from 1983, but other clothing styles for them do exist. A dead giveaway of a gaper is when their pants are tucked into their boots and the famous "Gaper Gap" (a gap between the helmet/hat and the goggles). Gapers sometimes temporarily inhabit the entrance to a terrain park. They will sit on their ass for a good 5-10 minutes talking about what they are going to do of a that "jump" or "rail" while everyone behind them goes before them and they stare at them with their mouth gaped open. Once they finally decide to leave their home at the entrance of the terrain park, the gaper will eventually decide to either roll over the jump and mess up all the lips, or they will try and actually hit the jump. If this occurs, they generally end up coming up half way short of the landing on their ass and yardsale, while the person behind them runs them over and/or yells at them. Gapers may also make turns or snowplow down green runs and sometime try to act cool by crouching and sticking their ski poles in the air but are totally oblivioius to the fact that they look even more stupid than they previously were. Gapers often find themselves on the top of a black diamond run because they are dumbasses and can't read a map. When they approach the run, they may either turn around, stare at it, sit down on the top of it, or just simply walk down the side of it. Gapers often have trouble getting on and off lifts and the lift operator gets really frustrated with them because he is required to stop the lift. A fun game to play while skiing or riding behind a gaper is called "Follow the Gaper". The game is played by following the gaper's path and looking as bad as they are. The game will usually last until they identify your presence, however it is possible to extend the game even past this point.

Now this has nothing to do with the above, but if you don't use urban dictionary to find slang terms, then you are TOTALLY missing out. It has helped me find the true meaning of supermaning that hoe, and other such sexual references in songs. It's hysterical!

So back to gaper day. A group of friends has chosen a day at a local ski mountain and decided to dress in 80's gear, drink beer and have a great time. Who wouldn't want to join?? Unfortunately we missed it last year due to my surgeries, but we were all ready this year.

I raided my mom's closet for our old ski gear (yes, from the 80's, yes she still has it), raided my own closet for some awesome clothing I own (yes, from the 80's and YES *I* still have it), raided a good friend's closet and off we went.

Oh yes, here we are. I rocked my mom's old orange snow outfit, and Josh had our friend Amanda's jacket that had REMOVABLE sleeves. Whoa.

Of course we ran into some old college friend's of Josh. His old rugby teammates. Ha. We were like "ummm, we don't normally dress like this, but we are with a group..." Awkward!! Oh well.

I kind of feel like the photos will speak for themselves.

The jacket on my friend Kandice (the upper left photo, center girl) was my jacket in the 80's. The orange one I am wearing was my mom's whole outfit. :-)

The boys did a shirtless run. Oh yes, they all went down the mountain together like this.

And for the best moment of the day.

On the right, our friend. On the left, an unsuspecting mountain patron wearing the EXACT one piece our friend had purchased last year on ebay. When he approached her, she was like "I've had this outfit for 30 years!" Radically AWESOME huh??

This was how we spent Saturday March 6, 2010.

*hugs and kisses*

He turned 16 today

2010-03-08T17:39:00.002-05:00

My "little" brother that is.

Such an amazing kid.

Here we are in our "christmas pj's" this year. He doesn't look so little does he?

Love him a lot and super proud of him. *big smile*

Happy 16th Birthday to my "little" brother. Drive safe and don't speed like mom does. Lol.

*hugs and kisses*

Photos from My Life Break

2010-03-03T19:10:00.000-05:00

February 15-21

Usually my parent's house has snow even when we don't. They are about 2ish hours north of us and in the mountains. This time though they missed BOTH of the big storms that we'd had. So when I got home the ground was mainly bare of all snow. Weird.

Monday night though (my first night there) look what I saw!!

Apparently I brought it with me!

Other notable photos that week. I sent this one to Josh and told him I bought a new hat.

He was not amused. Such a weirdo. Lol.

Mom and I were playing dress up while shopping obviously.

I also found these at Walmart.

They are super yummy and not at all gross like people think. Mainly peanut butter flavored with just a hint of strawberry, everyone I've forced to try them love them. SUPER addictive.

I did try to get a photo of it actually snowing.

But with screens in all the windows it didn't turn out too well.

And here is a photo of Sassy watching the snow and waiting for her two boyfriends to come visit.

They evaded me all week. I think she told them I was mean or something because the evening after I left they showed up. Ugh.

I got home on Friday and we had a party to attend. It was a fondue and game night at our friend's house and it was SO MUCH FUN. Josh was super sleep deprived and it made him absolutely hilarious. Next post will discuss Josh's sleep deprivation. Lol.

Saturday was a lazy day.

Sunday I was back up near my parent's house. Unfortunately, my family couldn't meet me. I had gone up with Kandice to pick up a puppy. Long story, but the puppy is Kandice's new puppy Masi (MAY-cee)'s sister. Did you get all that?

Here is the former Lucy Lou. Her new owner's renamed her.

Kandice and I did get to eat lunch at Wegmans with her parents. Oh I love Wegmans. We also grabbed some premade sushi for when we got home for dinner. And when we stopped at Sheetz I found some coconut M&M's (Can you tell I'm on a chocolate kick lately?? - Easter is around the corner!) that I shared for dessert. Lol.

So that is all for now about that week. Can't wait to tell you what Josh was doing while I was gone!!

*hugs and kisses*

Valentine's Day 2010

2010-02-28T21:36:00.002-05:00

We had to kind of skip Valentine's Day last year because I was being discharged from the hospital. I did get flowers and a funny card though.

And yes I realize it is an overly commercialized day. It is also the day Josh and I started "dating" 8 years ago - or as I like to say it "the day we decided to stop having sex with any other people." Lol.

All I asked for this year was a bacon, egg and cheese mcgriddle (I even had a coupon!)

This is what I woke up to!

Yum! I hadn't had McDonald's in well over a month or more!

When I went downstairs I was surprised to find these.

Even though I said no card or flowers. They are beautiful though!

Later that day we did our usual celebration type thing - a mom and pop sub place.

This time we placed our order at Jim and Nena's in Hallam, ran down to Mack's ice cream for some of their amazing cookies and cream ice cream, picked up our food that was ready and headed home to snuggle, watch movies and eat.

I love spending any day like that.

*hugs and kisses*

February 11, 2010 Dr. P Follow up

2010-02-28T20:43:00.002-05:00

More playing catch up!

Thoughts still all over the place.

Thursday February 11th I had my one month follow up with Dr. P. It went ok. Basically I have to lose weight or at least maintain what I have, but be more active. Supposedly I will be in pain for a while and I just have to work through it. If I don't do something because it is painful, I'll just keep moving backwards and not forwards. (Glad I'd already seen SK who helped me out with the pain issue. She really is my FAVORITE doctor EVER!!)

They also couldn't schedule my follow up 3 month CAT scan because of the snow the two days before. I did get a phone call the following Monday that my CAT scan will be Monday April 5th. Super. Can't wait. Metallic taste and feeling like I am peeing myself. Awesome right?

Then another follow up with Dr. P after that. If they don't see anything then I'll have another follow up CAT scan 3 months from the first one. Thank you insurance. Thank you a whole lot. I am awfully expensive!

Here are a few photos of the doctor's office parking lot.

*hugs and kisses*

February 13, 2010

2010-02-28T11:39:00.005-05:00

I realize this is a little late. Well only 10 days really. I've started a whole slew of posts about topics I WANT to write about, but I just don't have the brain energy to complete my thoughts. Even now I'm struggling to get my mind to convey to my fingers what to exactly type out.

So... whatever. You get the point. I've got a lot going on in my brain and it's just too congested to get out. Back to topic though.

This post goes along with why I blog in the first place. I used to write in journals a long time ago, and I enjoyed going back and reading what was going on in my life, how I was dealing with these things, what I was thinking while going though them, etc.

Most of the following was written the day it happened. I just cleaned it up a little and expressed some feelings better.

One year ago on February 13, 2009 I went in for my first surgery ever. I was excited and nervous. I was unemployed and looking forward to moving forward with my physical health. I was thankful that all those years I suffered I wasn't actually crazy and there was something wrong, but fixable. In other words, one year ago I was in a totally different mindset - hopeful and positive.

Now though. Oh now. Now, I am 1 month post op of my THIRD surgery. My attitude has changed dramatically. I am not nearly as positive. I think I've expressed what is going on in my head quite well so far. My motivation is kind of nil. I know it sounds pessimistic, but I really do feel like this isn't over. Something still feels... wrong.

Part of this probably has something to do with the fact I didn't realize anything was wrong in the first place. Like how I didn't realize a whole organ was hanging out in the WRONG area of my body. Every doctor, nurse, secretary and technician were amazed that I had NO symptoms and wasn't aware something was amiss. That's frustrating to realize that I really don't know my body as well as I thought.

In conclusion of my post 1 year - things are up in the air. Hopefully I'm not too hypochondrial and can move past this. I am not much of a past dweller and this should get me through these feelings of being downtrodden much faster.

*hugs and kisses*

Seriously?? WARNING: BATHROOM RELATED

2010-02-23T20:37:00.002-05:00

AGAIN.

Remember I keep saying this blog contains Too Much Information. And here is another little tidbit to attest to that.

So for about 4 days now I have had diarrhea. Yes it hurts again at this point. No I don't know why besides MY DIGESTIVE SYSTEM HATES ME. Hates. A lot. Hates. Anyway, I am just setting you up for another fun public restroom story.

Josh and I decided to go to dinner tonight. We did. Then we went to Bed Bath and Beyond because for the first time in those 4 days I didn't feel like I had to hit the bathroom IMMEDIATELY after eating. I was excited! Whatever. Josh then mentions how he would like to look at some iPhone paraphernalia at Best Buy since he gets his in MARCH. Countdown is somewhere around T-20 days. Work is paying for it, hence the waiting.

We look at iPhone stuff, we look at LED tv's (OMG I totally want one. The color is so BRIGHT and pretty!), we looked at cameras, we looked at printers and then it hit. Ugh. Seriously?? Of COURSE I am on the other side of the store.

So I do my poop waddle to the bathrooms. I look at the one directly in front of me and it says "men" (this is important - trust me), so I duck in the one to my left NOT looking at the sign. For the second public restroom issue, the bathroom is CLEAR!! No one in it. Yay!!

I'll spare you the super gross details, but suffice it to say someone comes in before I'm finished. Singing. It's a DUDE!! Like a male dude. Like with a penis (I assume).

Holy SH!T literally!! I totally freeze. Did I walk into the wrong restroom?? Did I totally not pay attention to the sign?? There aren't urinals in here. This shouldn't be a guys restroom, but is it?? What is going on??

Dude sings his way into the handicapped stall, locks the door, sits down and starts farting. Then pooping. Again? AGAIN?? HOW does this keep happening?

I finish up very quickly, grab my stuff, spring out of the stall, and try to wash my hands while keeping an eye on that handicap stall door praying to a MUCH higher power not to let it open. While doing so another WOMAN walks in. What do I say? "Ummmm, there is a dude in the end stall, watch out?" Then he would hear me. Then we would both be embarrassed. Nope, I just ran.

I find Josh and tell him the whole story and he proceeds to laugh at me. We tried waiting and watching to see the guy (I saw his shoes), but after 5 minutes I decided it was better to just leave.

I am done shopping after eating. Done. *sigh*

*hugs and kisses*

Another life break

2010-02-19T17:25:00.002-05:00

I went to my parent's house to visit my mom for the week while my dad and brother were away for the week.

Yay for some much needed girl time. I guess it should be "mother/daughter" time, but we aren't too mother/dautherly.

I'll be back on Monday. Maybe sooner.

I have Valentine's photos, photos of my SURPRISE from the husband (I LOVE PAINT!!), and other stuff. Something to look forward to.

*hugs and kisses*

SNOW Ice Cream

2010-02-12T22:07:00.005-05:00

We have somewhere around 40+" of snow. It is seriously crazy around here. There isn't enough room to put it all!

Thanks to a lovely neighbor who watched a newscast, then posted on facebook, which then reminded me of something I did in childhood.

Snow Ice Cream. You will need clean snow.

Now I realize "clean" can be a relative term. You see when I was little my mom made me snow ice cream. Then in 5th grade my science teacher taught us all about ACID RAIN. OMG. NO more snow ice cream for me!! Never! It would KILL me!!

This many years later and I've learned that what doesn't kill me consumption wise only preserves my organs for my plan to live forever.

So BRING ON the ACID!!

Back to my original "recipe."

You'll need milk, sugar and vanilla on hand.

Mix 1 cup milk, 1/2 cup sugar and 1 tsp of vanilla. Whisk.

Send your husband out into the cold to collect your snow. Good husband. *kisses*

Fresh "clean" snow. Up to the door so he didn't have to really go anywhere for it.

All the ingredients.

Start mixing the snow in with the other stuff.

Keep adding snow (they say 5-6 cups, we probably ended up with 8 or more) until it becomes a mashed potato consistency.

Scoop and serve!

Josh added chocolate syrup to his to make chocolate ice cream!

Voila! Vanilla and chocolate (with caramel sauce) snow ice cream!

Problem though. It melts SUPER fast and gets all soupy. It was also WAY sweet.

I ended up freezing half mine. It was really good frozen. Kind of like a vanilla italian ice. I actually enjoyed it more than when it was fresh. Again though, super sweet.

I don't have any pictures, but I did make more again tonight.

This time I mixed 1 cup of milk, 1/4 cup sugar, 1 tsp vanilla and then put it in the freezer for 45 minutes or so.

When the snow was mixed in the whole thing didn't get soupy. We froze most of it, but did end up having some too. This mix was MUCH better and I even have a sweet tooth. It also didn't soupify immediately.

Now what to do with the other millions of cups of snow out there...

*hugs and kisses*

The second large snowstorm of 2010

2010-02-12T20:54:00.008-05:00

This storm didn't start so late. The first snow flakes started around 3:30-4PM on Tuesday Feb 9, 2010.
This was taken at 5:30PM. Yeah... lots of snow already.

SNOWFLAKES!!

This next photo was taken for Josh.

This is an NSX. It was all OVER the road.

Do NOT drive a car like this in the snow if A. you aren't familiar with driving this in this type of weather and B. if it's snowing. Lol.

On the other hand we were out in it too...

This was 83. Kind of a mess. Thank goodness for our subaru AWD!

Another shot of 83. It was pretty dead on our side. Going the other way it was lots of traffic.

Why were we out though?? So Josh could go snowboarding at Roundtop! Lol. I can't ski or board due to my stupid surgery thing... BUT I play an amazing lodge bunny. You should see me!

These next few pictures are what happened when we got home from Roundtop. It took forever in the car to get there and back. Everyone else got plenty of snow play time. Suddenly I felt the urge.
"Josh, grab the camera. Yes the camera. TAKE A PICTURE OF ME IN THE SNOW"

*jump*

"tee hee hee I am making a SNOW angel!!"

"Look at my cold wet butt! It's cold... and WET!!"

My masterpiece snow angel -->

Doing this made me so happy and excited. I can't describe how good it feels to feel NORMAL and not want to sulk on the couch and cry all the time. So anyways...

I took this photo on the morning of the 10th. It was STILL coming down.

Looking out back.

The black at the bottom of this photo is the bottom of the sliding glass doors.

They are 18" off the ground. The mound of snow was well over that.

More of the backyard.
Buried suby... again. Poor Josh keeps having to dig out the car!

Obviously you can't tell from this photo, but the plow truck was stuck. Really stuck. Over 20 minutes it took him to get himself unstuck. Ugh.

This was all the better the road looked when he was done.

I also want to note I am taking more photos again. YAY!

This is a good thing obviously.

*hugs and kisses*

A brief lull in the snow

2010-02-10T19:56:00.006-05:00

Brought a lot of relief for me.

This will get wordy so be prepared. Sorry.

The roads started clearing up on Monday, but I was feeling worse. Lack of sleep, still in pain, emotionally drained.

After another freak out Monday afternoon with lots of crying I finally made the phone call. I called SK's office anticipating them not having an appointment until later in the week if at all. I did have an appointment with her next Tuesday, but I really hated to wait.

Miraculously there was an appointment at 8:45 Tuesday morning. It was meant to be!

I made a list of my concerns to discuss with SK on my iPhone. Yes I like to talk about my phone. I love it so.

First and foremost was the crying and depression. Then it was followed by the lack of sleep, the pain in my stomach, my chest, my shoulders. My shortness of breath, my racing heart.

I got up early Tuesday morning, got dressed and got behind the wheel of the car for the first time for almost a month. Josh let me have suby since the roads were still a little messy and suby drives much better.

I hate driving. I hate people that are on the roads. I almost rear ended a stupid older lady who STOPPED at a yield sign that I almost didn't see because of the snow on the curve of the road. Okay, I didn't almost rear end her, but I COULD have. Apparently I'm well known for my road issues. I just hate stupid drivers. *sigh* And what was stressing me out even more was the loads and loads and loads of traffic. I couldn't even get down the hill.

Apparently 83N was closed due to weather and a tractor trailer that tipped over spilling roofing nails, tar and shingles *slaps forehead*. Really?

So what normally takes me 10 mins to get to, took me well over 45 mins. Thankfully I am a freak of nature and had left 45 mins early. I am smart. Or crazy. Whatever. And let me tell you, driving after this surgery is rough. Everything feels tight and it is hard to turn the wheel of the car.

I get there, I sign in, they take me back to a room and THEN. Oh, and then. THEN they tell me SK is running late due to the traffic and I may have to see the other doctor. *gasp* Oh no. No nonononono. I totally panic. Oh gosh I guess my anxiety is worse than I thought. I frantically text my mom and Josh.

Then I get a brilliant idea. I step out of my room and tell the nurse I have to use the bathroom. I proceeded to lock myself in there for 10 minutes to stall. Again with my iPhone. YES I AM CRAZY. I'd rather people think I was destroying a toilet (obviously if you are a regular blog visitor, you'll know I've already done it) than not see SK.

I get back to my room and I hear them say she is almost there. Oh sweet relief.

When she comes in I almost cry when I see her. Ten seconds later when she says "oh honey how are you?" I really do burst into tears. I tell her everything. EVERYTHING that is going on. My list, things going on with my family, my skin issues. The flood gates are open and I'm spilling my guts.

I am talking frantically, my hands are shaking and apparently I turned ghost white (she asked if I was going to pass out) at one point as well. I have never trusted a medical professional as much as her. She always understands me, always listens to me and has never failed me.

After about a 45 minute session we have a plan.

First is to deal with the pain. Second get me some sleep. Third deal with my anxiety. Then we'll talk about maybe doing physical therapy for my shoulders if they are still bothering me.

She wrote me some prescriptions, hugged me, told me to call her today and made an appointment in March for a follow up.

I immediately headed to Target to get everything filled. I also asked them to fill my prenatal vitamins. Yes I take prenatal vitamins. My hair looks FABULOUS!! That's the only reason.

After my 45 minute wait I picked up all my drugs.

So I had my prenatals, but then there was the Tramadol (generic for Ultram), Lorazepam (generic for Ativan) and Lexapro.

And of course I got the one pharm lady that knows me because of our street name. So she probably thinks I'm a pain junky who is trying to get knocked up, and who is depressed and anxious. Whoa.

In reality. The prenatals really are for my hair. When I went off hormonal birth control my body went a little crazy so I needed a little something to get my body back into shape.

Tramadol (generic for Ultram) is a pain medication. It is not a narcotic. It can not be used in conjunction with any SSRI's or the like because of how it works. So I can't take the Lexapro.

Lexapro will be for when I am no longer taking the Tramadol. I've taken it before. It does wonders for my depression and anxiety. I went off it because I was "feeling better." You shouldn't do this. I was fine for 3 years though. Ugh. Depression is complicated. Don't follow my example.

Lorazepam (generic for Ativan) is the final drug I picked up yesterday. It is for an immediate anxiety reduction (Lexapro is long term depression and anxiety reduction). I took Lorazepam when we flew to CO. It makes me super sleepy and calms me down.

When I got home last night I took the Tramadol at 1PM and then again at 7:30PM. It was such a relief. It didn't make me woozy, it didn't take all the pain away, but it took the edge off and made me relaxed for the first time in almost a month. I couldn't believe the difference between this and the Vicodin I was taking before.

At bedtime I took a whole Lorazepam and promptly fell all the way asleep. It was AMAZING. I slept the whole night, I woke up feeling rested. I didn't lay awake for hours with my brain on full throttle.

If I felt good last night I felt GREAT today. Yeah, maybe it was the placebo effect. Maybe it was just having a doctor say to me that I wasn't crazy and we could work through this (no offense to Dr. P or his staff, but they don't KNOW me like SK knows me). Maybe SK really can work magic and knew exactly what I needed to get to a better place. Whatever it was I am so thankful for the sleep, the lack of pain, the lack of crying.

These are all the medications I've picked up at the pharmacy since all this went down (minus another bottle of Vicodin that I've already consumed and threw out).

This is all the medication I've taken BECAUSE of the surgery.

Boy this has been a rough road. I appreciate the support everyone.

Tomorrow is another follow up appointment with Dr. P, my surgeon.

*hugs and kisses*

The first large snowstorm of 2010

2010-02-09T14:45:00.006-05:00

The storm started late on the 5th of February. Continued into late on the 6th.

This is our back yard. Zuki is the second car from the right.

Snow up to my "snow" window clings!

What happened when we opened the front door! The stoop is like 6 inches below this.

I just think the solid snow pack looks neat.

There is a subaru car under there!

The view from the garage.

Back of our neighbor's house. You can see the drifting from the wind. Yikes!

Josh being silly.

What a great husband shoveling (even though we PAY someone to do that).

I brought him beer to go with his shovel. It made it more enjoyable for him!

It's like a winter wonderland.

If you have an AWD car it's like MANDATORY to drive in the snow.

Until you get stuck like we did here. It's okay, we are experienced and got it out.

(Although we were passed by two plow trucks and then OMG a police car and I was afraid he would stop and yell at us. Dude didn't even stop to HELP us. Whatever.)

It looks so funny with all the SNOW in our yards.

Thankfully we enjoy driving in the snow and made a trip out on Saturday night and found frozen bread. Although I totally wussed out on trying it - a big thanks to my awesome cooking blog friend Uncanny and her bread making loveliness. I linked her blog in my previous post. I do want to make the bread, but I got scared I would totally screw it up and then have nothing to take to the SUPER BOWL parties we attended. Another thanks to my friend RockThis who gave me the idea for the pizza bites - which I did use.

We did end up at two Super Bowl parties. I had a great time. I tried to have a little alcohol at the first one. It made me sick. One of my friend's sons asked everyone who went to the bathroom if they pooped. It made me laugh until I hurt (which doesn't take tooo much). We also taught him to fist bump. WITH fireworks. SCORE!!

Then we almost got into an accident when Zuki came out of 4 wheel drive. Weeeee... Josh is a good driver though, so almost just means he lost a little traction, but we were fine.

I was really tired at the second one. So we left early. *sigh*

Guess what is happening right now?

MORE SNOW on it's way.

Awesome. I STILL can't sled ride. Boo.

Oh well.

*hugs and kisses*

Time for a three week update.

2010-02-05T19:58:00.003-05:00

Three weeks already? Who I am kidding? This feels like the LONGEST three weeks EVER.

The difference between last week and this week are crazy though. This time last week I was a blubbering, crying, inconsolable mess. This week. Eh. I would say I am about 70% back to my normal. Give or take a couple percents.

Physically things hurt less. I'm still having some breathing issues, I have a little trouble occasionally when I eat (it seems I can't swallow food, which feels stuck, which makes me feel like my chest is ripping apart, which makes me panic, which makes me feel like I'm dying), and my shoulders and ribcage are still tender.

Mentally I am processing everything better. I am not so forlorn and lost. Things are starting to look up.

Emotionally I have stopped crying every day. I have it down to like once every 2-3 days.

I think that last 30% is going to take a while. I wish it wouldn't, but it's just a feeling I have. Which is not cool because I KNOW that healing is mind over matter and my mind is just not into it.

Grrrr.

Oh, and did you know that we are having SNOW?!?! Yes it is SNOWING. I have to capitalize SNOW because everyone is all worked up about the SNOW. Lololol.

I took this photo at 4:30ish. It had just started.

There is supposedly 22 total inches on the way for here. Maybe? Who knows.

I couldn't get a picture of the snow tonight because it was too dark out. So I took this photo of ME at 9PM.

I love Oscar. And my Halloween skull PJ pants. Oh baby!

And I haven't mentioned the upcoming Super Bowl yet because so much ELSE is going on. So about that Super Bowl. With those teams playing. Who I have NO idea who they are. Yeah...

People wigging out have ruined my Super Bowl food making plans. I wanted to make pizza roll. I need frozen bread. THE GROCERY STORE WAS OUT OF FROZEN BREAD. Seriously?? I HATE being that person at the store, but I was so annoyed. So I might be making pizza bites instead. Or I may use my friend's pizza dough recipe found HERE. She has an awesome cooking blog.

We aren't hosting this year and have two parties to attend. I'm kind of excited as long as snow doesn't freak too many people out.

So that is my three week wrap up.

Maybe I will get out tomorrow and take some SNOW pictures.

I haven't used my camera in almost a MONTH. BOOOOOOO.

*hugs and kisses*

HOW did we get to the short month

2010-02-01T21:22:00.002-05:00

already?? What happened to January? Anyone know?

I seriously can not believe it's February already. Where did the time go? The only things I have accomplished are some reading, lots of couch potatoing, some MOUSE potatoing (I'll explain that in a minute) and recovering. Oh, and you know the whole surgery thing.

About that mouse potatoing. I read my Nora Ephron book that Nina and Greg got me.

Apparently it is a term that describes people that instead of wasting their time on the couch watching tv (couch potato) they sit around and waste time on the computer. THIS my friends is a mouse potato. And guess what? I TOTALLY fit that term. *shrugs*

I also managed to read

These two I just purchased and should be here before the weekend.

Apparently Joe Hill is Stephen King's son's pen name. Who knew??

And finally this is my current book.

I'm about 4 pages in. Lol. I couldn't sleep last night and was up until 5AM. I started reading this book today and totally fell asleep. The book was fine, I was just exhausted.

How am I keeping track of all my reading now? I belong to a site called goodreads. It helps me keep track of what I'm reading, what my friends are reading and has been super helpful so I don't forgot what I WANTED to read too!!

And no, I'm not just reading. I've also managed to catch up on The Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mother. I've also started watching Mad Men and 30 Rock.

How have I missed all these amazing shows??

Oh, and I watched two Star Wars movies. *gasp*

Stubborn no more! Or at least on that.

*hugs and kisses*

It should be getting better

2010-01-28T13:03:00.002-05:00

but currently it is not. The pain is still there. Still not letting me sleep comfortably all night. Which is making me tired. Which is making me not want to do anything during the day. Which isn't helping me sleep at night. See the pattern?

There is a lot of frustration right now. A lot. I'm also crying. A lot.

And can we discuss how I just got my period which means cramps and bloating on top of the stomach pain, swelling and uncomfortable feelings from surgery.

Can we add my typical period crazy feelings to the frustration too?

Holy whine fest huh?

Yeah, I try not to be this person. SO...

On an better note - I had a great time going out for my friend Kandice's birthday on Tuesday night! We went to Mitsuru and had sushi. I do love sushi!

And last night Josh and I snuggled on the couch for a little while.

Tonight Josh and I will be going on a date to TARGET to pick up more pain meds.

YAY!!

*hugs and kisses*

I once had a pretend brain tumor

2010-01-25T15:28:00.003-05:00

I wasn't pretending it was a brain tumor. IT was pretending it was a brain tumor.

Way back during my first surgery blogging I mentioned this crazy phenomenon. When I was asked by the nurse if I was allergic to anything I mentioned tetracycline which is a common drug prescribed for acne. You can read the rest of that story if you follow the link (it's blissfully short and is the fourth paragraph under the first photo of me).

Both subsequent times I've had surgery I am also asked about drug allergies and both times I have told them about the tetracycline. Why this popped into my head today to discuss I don't really know. I mean I was looking at possibly side effects of long term Vicodin use (I know I've only been on it for like 4.5 days - I'm paranoid okay?) and then for some reason I threw tetracycline into the search engine.

(click HERE for more information)

Nothing came up. Hmmm. I mean well stuff came up (headache, nausea, vomiting, etc) but nothing about severe debilitating headaches that were associated with tumor like symptoms.

Although, if you type in pseudo tumor cerebri and read anything involving causes, tetracycline is listed. Interesting again. I suppose it is because it causes such a SMALL number of cases they don't want to freak anyone out, but let me tell you who was freaked out when no one knew what was going on - ME!

When I was 14 I had really bad acne. Actually I had it at 12 and 13 too, but 14 was when I made up my mind to DO something about it. After lots of creams, treatments, etc I was put tetracycline to try to dial down the massive large red breakouts all over my face.

Now my EXACT details on this whole escapade are fuzzy. It was almost 14 years ago and I was an overly dramatic, hormonal 14 year old. Suffice to say I started the tetracycline. My acne started clearing up. I also started getting debilitating migraines to the point I was super light sensitive and throwing up. This was attributed to "hormones" and "growing" and "girl problems." Then one day I passed out in gym class while running the track. And I mean face first plant directly into the cinders with no hands out to catch me.

It looked like I had acne all over again! Ha! Ok, I shouldn't joke, but what else is there to say? I looked a mess. Saw my doctor again. More "hormones, growing, stress, etc." and I was sent on my way.

Then that winter I was walking home from school. I lived 1/2 block from the high school, so not far at all. I did however, in that 1/2 block distance, have to cross the one "major" street in my hometown (yes, there was only one, MAYBE two major streets). I was midway across that street when I collapsed. I have no memory of feeling weak. Just walking and then someone carrying me home (a school friend who saw it happen).

The speed limit wasn't high, but had I passed out in front a car, it still could have run me over. Ugh. Bad thoughts.

That was when the neurologist got involved. Several MRI's, tests and scans and low and behold they found my pretend tumor! I had a large increase of fluid that was pushing on my brain just like a tumor would.

I was told to stop all medications I was taking and present a list to my doctors. List was presented, medications were stopped and miraculously the REALLY bad headaches and the passing out stopped (temporarily).

After about 4 months I was called back to the doctor's office to get my official diagnosis. I had an allergic reaction to the tetracycline that cause a pseudo tumor cerebri. It is most common in women of child bearing age and even more common in obese women. Now I fit the first criteria, but at that point in my life, I was still really skinny. This issue causes problems in less than 1% of the population and the fact that stopping the tetracycline cured the swelling in my brain I was officially diagnosed and told to NEVER take it AGAIN.

Apparently the less than 1% diagnosis still prevents LOTS of medical professionals from knowing about it, which makes sense to me. Could you imagine having to know EVERY potential issue with EVERY potential person?? It's why we have the internet people!!

So that is my fun story for today. It only took me almost a year to explain it. Lol.

However it doesn't explain why I wrote that my last post was #150 when really I only have #148 (well this one will make #149) published. I'm sneaking this in HERE way down at the bottom because I feel dumb. I didn't realize I had two unfinished posts lurking around that I gave up on. Oops. My bad. Ignore my mistake. I'll make up for it with MORE POSTS!!

Check back later this week for some Q&A from emails I've gotten (and I will respond to those emails shortly as well - I promise!!), and maybe another discussion on my weirdness including my predisposition to passing out and WHY am I allergic to the alternatives to things?

Always a fun time around here!!

*hugs and kisses*

Post #150 has graphic photos

2010-01-23T12:18:00.006-05:00

Seriously. Graphic. As in they are photos of the inside of my body. I know the inside of my body is pretty gross. I have seen photos before. I got a 4 set during my last surgery. I don't think I posted them. Maybe I did. I don't see them though. Hmmmm... Oh well.

Honestly they look a lot like these photos. Honestly I don't really know what I am looking at. You probably don't either. Unless you are a medical professional and then - why are you reading my blog? I'm really not that interesting!

So there are only 8 photos below. There should be 12, but my every amazing husband apparently scanned the same set twice and missed one set. Oops. Maybe when he goes back in to scan set 3, I'll see if he can scan in the set from last year since they are SO different. Lol.

On to the photos. Now these aren't ultra sound or anything fancy like that. They are literally photos taken with a small camera that was placed inside my abdomen so that the people performing my surgery could see what they were doing without flaying my stomach open.

The photos were scanned in, emailed, and then cropped so the picture quality is probably not great. Sorry.

The only really cool thing I can see is that the two right bottom photos and the one left bottom photo is the AlloMax that was attached to my diaphragm. That is the human tissue that can't be rejected, can't degrade, and has to hold up or we'll be going through surgery again.

Please send your positive thoughts to that gross looking piece of soggy thick paper towel thing.

Josh had scanned these photos yesterday and sent them to me last night. He sent them while watching Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe. Now Mike Rowe is an amazing guy who I swoon over every time he comes on TV. Maybe I'll talk about him another time.

The particular Dirty Jobs episode was Season 5, Episode 21. It was titled Fireworks Technician. There was an offshoot segment about a cow that has a hole in it's side that they fish inside of to study cow digestion. I couldn't watch. I felt like that cow. At least my holes got closed up. This cow has people digging in its guts daily. Sorry cow. :-(

And speaking of closing of holes - that will be a nice transition for the final segment of today's blog post.

I had 5 incisions last surgery. I had no stitches to close them up, just some steri strips and about a weeks worth of healing time and they were fine.

Dr. Prats used the same incision sites as last time to do this surgery. This time though he needed stitches for the one incision due to how much stretching was done with the instruments. That incision looks awful. See?

If you click on the photo it will get larger, but I just want to make sure you guys see how really gross it is! So I cropped it closer. See below.

The small white piece at the bottom right of the incision is the internal stitch that has once again made its way to the surface of my stupid body. I learned my lesson LAST time in regards to pulling on things around incisions.

Okay, well if you didn't lose your lunch from the photos in this post KUDOS! I think these are all the gross ones for a while. Unless Josh gets those other ones scanned in and then I'll post those too. Lol.

*hugs and kisses*

First post surgery 3 follow up

2010-01-22T12:50:00.004-05:00

I planned ahead for my Thursday morning appointment and had showered the night before. Glad I did. It gave me time to put some makeup on and do my hair. I figured I might as well as least try to look cute while feeling miserable.

Cute see?

Well I thought I looked cute. We also did some pictures of the not so cute parts of me.

and a close up

Okay, I realize nothing looks bad. But people, please realize that all the work was done on the INSIDE. Stitches, cutting out scar tissue, yanking things, moving things, stitching more things, adding human tissue to reinforce things. Ugh. My stomach is also a big bloated, swollen mess of mush.

And you know where my almost biggest pain is from? My shoulders. They pumped so much air into my body so they could work, and it was in there for so long, that it is trapped and causing a lot of pain. Ouch and boo.

When we set off for the doctor's office I was only in a little pain, but the car ride really did me in. I couldn't even stand to check myself in and Josh had to do it for me. Got back to the room and it was the really nice nurse. Dr. Prats came in soon and we started talking. About 3 seconds into our talk I started crying. Oh god. I HATE crying in front of people. And I HATE that it probably made him feel bad.

I was just in SO MUCH PAIN. All that frustration led me to cry more and both the doctor and nurse were super sympathetic. I am very thankful they weren't upset with me. I was prescribed more pain medication - this time vicodin - told to come back in three weeks and to just take my time and heal. No rush, I needed to take my time and it was okay that I wasn't bouncing back immediately. This surgery was very intense with more work than anticipated.

My mom had told me all this the day before, but it made me feel better to hear it from the doctor. I know I know. Sorry mom.

After the appointment, Josh took me home, got me all situated (can I seriously nominate him for husband of the century??) and went back to work. We agreed I'd be okay with the rest of the percoset until he got home from work. I got so bored and frustrated and keyed up yesterday I asked Josh if I could go to Target with him to get my prescription when he got home from work.

This is where my story turns kind of funny and really really gross. It made my mom laugh hysterically, but I am an even better in person story teller than on here. So you're only getting half the funniness.

Seriously, really really gross. Continue reading at your own risk. I've warned you.

Josh told me it would be too much for me to be at Target. I didn't listen.

So we get to Target and Josh goes to make a return while I lean on a cart and make my way back to the pharmacy. Josh beat me there. Even with a return *sigh*.

I sit on the bench while Josh puts in my prescription and they told us 20-25 minutes. We then worked our way back to the men's clothing section so Josh can find a new pair of wind pants. He wanted to try them on so I found a bench in the shoe section and flopped. Now Josh had told me he didn't bring his cell phone so don't go anywhere.

After about two minutes of sitting there I HAVE to go. Like I have to poop. And it has to happen RIGHT NOW. I try as hard as I can not to poop my pants and then Josh shows up. I tell him what is going on and that we have to go RIGHT NOW. The bathroom is at the front of the store. I am at the back. I'm in pain, not as mobile, I have trouble breathing and I have to POOP. That bathroom was MILLIONS OF MILES AWAY.

We start out to the bathroom and Josh is all "are you okay? You are kinda of pale, sweaty and have goosebumps." I was like "it's because I HAVE TO GO."

I think I almost sprinted the last little bit, but I MADE IT!

And how amazing was it that the bathroom was free of all people? I think I heard angels sing. But I'm not sure because of the awful pooping I was doing. I have been taking miraLAX, colace and benefiber to keep things moving so I don't have any issues with all this abdominal work. For some reason Target has this effect that I always feel like I have to poop. Well apparently that combined with the above cocktail - well let's all have a silent moment for that toilet.

I feel as though although it was horrible and disgusting and all of that, that I lucked out because the bathroom had no one else in it. Just as I'm about to clean up, someone comes in. Oh god. Oh no. I am slightly weak from terrible parting of my last few meals and my body. I KNOW it smells. Oh god, I am THAT person that smells up the bathroom. I can't leave. So I figure I'll let unknown person (who I will most likely never see again, so why DO I care, but I do!) pee quick, wash their hands and leave. Nothing worse than facing the person who you almost gassed to death at the sinks.

So I am waiting and then... girlfriend in the stall two down STARTS POOPING. OMG. So then there is the debate: do I wipe my ass, run to the sinks, wash my hands and hope she doesn't meet me out there - do I wait her out and hope her smell isn't worse than mine since I am not allowed to gag or cough - do I wipe my ass, go to the sinks and give her a nod if she meets me there? Do not laugh. If you are not a woman, or not a woman who has ever disgraced the "all ladies smell like roses and don't poop" then you just won't understand this dilemma.

I waited her out. I snuck out as soon as she was gone, washed my hands and departed the bathroom.

Josh asked how it was in there. I told him I just had to sit down.

My prescription was done, we paid and left.

I had to go home and lay down.

That was my most exciting day since surgery. Seriously. Super exciting.

Today I have done nothing. I've walked around the house a few times. I needed to do nothing today.

Tomorrow is a new day. I think I'll have less pain tomorrow. That's my plan.

*hugs and kisses*

What are you allergic to?

2010-01-21T22:11:00.000-05:00

Some people are allergic to food. Others to the outdoors. Dust, bugs, cheese, latex, wool, certain drugs, other drugs, etc etc. I have one drug allergy. I also have an allergy to the latex free gloves. The latex ones are fine - go figure. I have a lot of skin irritations too. Thanks for that one mom!! Sensitive skin ROCKS!

Recently I've had an ever growing sensitivity to adhesive. Yes you read that right, adhesive. Like the stuff that helps things stick to you so you can heal. AWESOME.

When I had my arm gouged by the dermatologist I was told to put a band aid on after with Vaseline. After like a day I was itching my band aid like crazy. When i took it off it the area was red, swollen, and there were tiny tears in in skin. THAT hurt more than where the stitches.

So when I had surgery last friday that put on steri strips and then band aids. I HAD to take them off after like a day. Red, irritated and itchy again. I tried putting on other band aids because there was still some bleeding and seeping. No go. One day later I took them off and found this.

Can you see right where the band aid was stuck? Want a close up? It's really nasty gross!!

Do you see those two red areas on the edge of the leftover sticky?

That is where the skin was RIPPED OFF. Seriously.

Yes that hurt a lot. I think this was like time number 83 I'd cried since Friday. At least it felt that way. Blech.

This is the surgery I just can't seem to catch a break with. Recovery is still going rather rough. I'll update tomorrow hopefully all about today. It's a doozy!!

*hugs and kisses*

Day after surgery #3 post

2010-01-20T20:20:00.004-05:00

Because apparently the medicine REALLY went to my brain. I was typing and then kind of just stopped and wrapped up. Even though I hadn't actually wrapped up. I was MID story. WOW.

So where was I? Josh was there, Dr. Prats stopped in...

He gave me the information about the weight loss, the exercise, the coughing etc. Oh right. He then asked if I had my upper GI. I had not. He said he would ask around and see what could be done. About 30 mins later the guy with the wheel chair shows up and IT'S THE SAME WEIRDO FROM LAST YEAR!! Seriously!

He takes me down and the ride was bumpy and I was nauseous. Then I had to wait for them to be ready ready for me. I should have taken my iPhone.

The girl comes and gets me and tells me I have to drink the gastrografin. BUT, this time it was mixed with barium and it wasn't NEARLY as bad. I ended up with the same doctor as last year, but he was MUCH nicer this time. He really felt bad for me when I explained all the stitches, the fact I was there last year and this was a reoccurring issue. That worked out well for me.

The test was much quicker this year, all looked good and I had no leaks.

When I got back to my room I was told it would still be a while until I was released. I was in a ton of pain, so I requested more morphine. My mom decided to run to our house and shower and while she was gone they came back and were like "ok, you are ready to go!" So Josh helped give me a little birdie bath, got me dressed, I signed the paperwork and I was finally out the door.

Getting back to the house is a blur. I know the car ride was painful hitting the bumps. I know mom answered the door to our house. I know I was set up on the couch. I think I slept a lot. I know I cried from the pain. I know I slept more and I know mom and Josh were a little worried about me. I also know Josh had beautiful flowers waiting for me!

Kandice and Jason stopped by with some awesome goodies. I was in no state for company, so I didn't see them. Sorry guys! They brought me some cookies and cream ice cream, fudgepops and juicebars. They also brought FLOWERS!

I took my percocet every 4 hours faithfully, drank juice and slept a lot. Mom stayed an extra night even because I was doing really bad.

We got up on Sunday morning and mom left early. Everything is kind of a blur though. Lots of pain, lots of drugs. Unfortunately the drugs didn't completely eliminate the pain. They take the edge off, but not a lot. They also make it hard to think and focus. Ugh.

Speaking for forgetting things. I ALSO forgot to mention the book my friends Nina and Greg sent me that I got on Thursday night!

I will read it soon!!

More thanks to everyone! I am going to try to get this completely up to date before the end of the week! We will see.

Doctor follow up tomorrow.

*hugs and kisses*

All about surgery day.

2010-01-20T20:04:00.000-05:00

But, I like to talk about everything - so we will start with the night before. My mom came down the night before since we weren't exactly sure when surgery was. I found out a little after 3 that surgery wasn't until 12, but mom had already left at 3 so... yeah.

Anyways... we went shopping at Border's first. The lady at the register mentioned this book that was supposed to be so AWESOME and it was right there on the counter. She mentioned it because I had a Stephen King book and a Dean Koontz book. It was called A Reliable Wife. I am not usually gullible, but I was intrigued. Thank goodness Mom was there to pick up the tab.

I didn't read the book, but apparently it isn't ANYTHING like I would like. It's more of a historical romance with a murder twist. Oh UGH. And NOW we are majorly off topic.

So Border's first and then we headed to GinMya in York. While Josh, Mom and I were on our way, Kandice called that she had gotten out of work early, so she met us there.

Sushi is a GREAT meal before surgery. Seriously.

I slept relatively well that night and even got to sleep in the next morning! I had to be at the hospital at 10:30. I was nervous, but mom and I did a little photo shoot.

Me and my mom!

Just me - all ready to go!

When we got to the hospital they didn't even have a bed for me, so we ended up waiting in the SUPER crowded waiting room. It was only like 10-15 minutes but it was enough.

A cool new feature in the waiting room though was patient tracking! There was an LCD mounted to the wall that had the case number that was assigned to each patient and let you know when they were in surgery, in recovery, etc. I didn't get to really enjoy it, but it was nice for mom and Josh.

So I finally got my bed. It was the same as before. Strip naked, put on the gown and socks and wait to answer lots of questions.

Here I am! Waiting somewhat impatiently.

So questions were answered, arm bands were put on. And then it happened. Again. WHY CAN'T THEY EVER FIND A VEIN! The first lady dug, and dug, and dug until I started getting tears and begged her to stop.

Mom and Josh then noticed my savior nurse from last time who was able to stick me last time in the hall. She came in, took about 2 minutes, prepped the area and got it first shot. THANK YOU GOD!

Dr. Prats came in and told us that tactics were being switched around. No more Strattice (pig tissue). Another material came out in between my scheduling appointment and my surgery. It was called AlloMax (not to be confused with the non-working AlloDerm). It was human tissue. He said the rep was there even and had delivered it to be used. If he liked the way it worked that is what would be implanted. If not, he did have the Strattice too that he could fall back on. Okay, game plan was set. Let's get sliced and diced!

It felt like I waited forever, but then I was being wheeled back to the OR. I got back there, I think they talked to me.

Then I was waking up in recovery. I couldn't talk really. And the woman next to me was SCREAMING about something. I just kept smiling at the nurses (which probably looked crazy scary as I am sure it was more like a sneer than a real smile). Unfortunately screaming lady took everyones attention and I was left to attempt to smile my creepy smile in the nurse's direction in between falling asleep. It seemed like I was there for a while. I don't know.

Then I was being wheeled into my room. I saw mom and Josh and they hugged and kissed me. I asked what time it was and it was after 6!! WHAT?? Did it take me that long in recovery? What was going on?

Well apparently the surgery did not go as planned. At all. Here is what went down. Dr. Prats got in there and tried pulling my stomach out of my chest and back into my abdomen. It wouldn't stay down. After cutting away a lot of scar tissue and eventually taking my stomach into my abdominal wall with three stitches it was down. That took two hours. That is not good.

He went on to close up my hernia with 5 stitches (he used one before - 2 is usually the max). Then he broke out the AlloMax, liked it, and went on to place that around the former hernia. That was then all placed and tacked down with more stitches.

So the 2-3 hour surgery was a 6 hour surgery and that was why the recovery room was so much rougher!

Then I ask if someone can please get me some water or ice chips because the tube down my throat had irritated it. Nope. Not until after my upper GI the next morning. SERIOUSLY?? Jerks. I ended up suffering all night with nothing really to quench my thirst. The nurses were MUCH nicer this time and kept bringing my zofran and toradol. I even got a morphine helper when it wasn't time to toradol yet.

The night was uncomfortable and unpleasant, but I made it through. 8AM Josh got there. 9AM Dr. Prats showed up (he had said he would be there at 9AM) and explained the surgery to me. How much rougher it was than he had planned on. That now I had to start walking to get the blood flowing and get things healed up.

I am not allowed to gain any weight. I am not allowed to lift anything over 10 lbs. I am not allowed to cough (yes, seriously). I am not allowed to get into a car accident. I can however eat small portions, take lots of stool softeners and laxatives, and walk as much as I can so that I can get to 0.5 miles before I see him Thursday.

Wish me luck! If I remember anything else (which could happen because these pain meds are messing with my memory) I'll make another post.

*hugs and kisses*

These are just two of my favorite things...

2010-01-18T22:44:00.004-05:00

Materialistically speaking of course because today is not a sappy day.

But seriously, I don't know how I made it through my first two surgeries without these two things. Let me make my introductions. This photo showcases both of my favorite things. TOGETHER!

Oh yes. That is a bright orange fluffy snuggie. Home made by my mom. And what is that I'm holding?? Why it's my iPhone - in it's brandsie new orange case.

I took a second photo without flash to show you... my screen saver on my phone is me wearing my orange snuggie. Lol. I crack myself up.

So why are these my two favorite things? Well the snuggie has kept me warm and comfortable while laying for hours on the couch. Its convenient sleeves allow me to have my hands free while still staying snuggly warm. It's also loose enough to not bother my incision sites and has room for my heating pad for my shoulder. Some people may mock the snuggie, but I am now a true convert.

Secondly is my fabulous phone. It has kept me connected to friends and family through all this. I can read email, check facebook, send messages and play games. It isn't heavy like my laptop, so I can pick it up and move it around with me. AWESOME! And it wasn't so overwhelming in the hospital when I was all loopy.

My mom asked me while she was here what I'd named my phone and I was like "idk." Ok, not really. First I said "my precious" which cracked Josh and I up, but mom hadn't seen LOTR and so she didn't get it really. Now that's all I've been thinking about. I might stick with "my precious" though. Or maybe "mip" for short (melissa's iphone / melissa's iphone precious). Do you see what pain killers do to me? I'm going crazy I think. I mean crazier.

It is day 3 post op and I am still miserable. My body aches, my shoulders hurt, my incisions itch and are painful this time. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to walk, it hurts to sit. I still can't really get myself up from a sitting position. I have been taking the percocets every 4 hours with no real relief, just some of the edge off the pain is diminished.

I am okay, and I know I will get better, but until that happens I keep trying to look at the bright side of things while discussing my misery. I will be an optimist and in a year when I look back on this post I will forget how really bad it was. I reread some of my posts from last year after my first surgery and I was like "really? I don't remember being like that at all!" Ha. See. I'm forgetful which is a good thing.

That's all for today.

*hugs and kisses*

Details later, but I just needed to say

2010-01-17T17:43:00.002-05:00

Friends and family are the best.

I survived surgery although it was really rough. My mom stayed up with me all night in the hospital. She brought me another orange snuggie!, chocolate covered raisins for when I start eating more and some books and magazines.

My friend Nina (and her husband Greg) sent me a super cute card and a book.

Kandice and Jason stopped by yesterday with a bag full of goodies (fudge pops, cookies and cream ice cream and juice bars) and some awesome flowers.

Doug and Lisa stopped today and dropped off a coloring book (Yay!), flowers and a card.

Josh also had flowers waiting for me when I got home.

A BUNCH of other friends have texted, emailed and facebooked me so many good wishes it makes me feel warm and snuggly.

I may feel awful and have been sleeping non-stop really (and when I'm not sleeping I'm drugged up, so you are lucky this is all coherent), but all the love and support makes things just a little easier.

THANK YOU!

*hugs and kisses*

The night before surgery

2010-01-14T23:41:00.001-05:00

and all tucked into bed
all the creatures were sleeping
well unless you count my head

Yes that was totally lame. It is 11:30pm and I have surgery in about 12 hours. I am scheduled to be at the hospital at 10:30am.

I am more nervous than I was for the last two combined.

Thankfully I have an amazing support system of family and friends to help get me through this.

No naming names though because it is late I am all wigged out and exhausted but I can't sleep. That would lead to missed people which would lead to hurt feelings which would lead to bad karma and I need all the good juju I can get.

I will try to update tomorrow after surgery. Josh will be texting those whose phone numbers we have. He should also have time to update both of our facebooks.

Thank you for all the support. It means more to me than I can ever express.

Ugh. I feel like I am way over planning for the worst. Not a good feeling.

Wish me luck dear blog readers and send any extra good thoughts you have this way.

*hugs and kisses*
mj

I'm now sad Christmas is over.

2010-01-11T13:03:00.006-05:00

No more presents for a while. *le sigh* Maybe if I'm good I'll get something for Valentine's day! Until then let's recap Christmas shall we?

I think we need the abridged version.

Thankfully I DID update about my excision and the stitches I got. So on to the whirlwind Christmas.

Here were some prep pictures.

In my wrapping room.

Some of the finished products.

Christmas Eve day we decided to clean up the house and buy a dishwasher.

Did you read that right? Yep, we decided to buy a dishwasher. From Craigslist. In MD. So instead of cleaning and the like for Christmas Eve dinner we were having for Josh's family, we were driving to MD to pick up a dishwasher.

Now there is nothing WRONG with our old dishwasher. It runs fine. It cleans dishes. Anyone want to buy it? I have photos!!

Anyways, we wanted a new one for the large bike water bottles. Yes you read that right. JUST for BIKE BOTTLES. Otherwise they sat in the sink (or on the counter or in a bag somewhere) until Josh decided to clean them (because we would have to hand wash them) and then there was the mold. Okay, this is not the abridged version huh?

Found dishwasher. On craigslist. Retail $850. Never used (floor model in a showroom, but never installed). In MD. Purchased for $200. YAY!!

Looks... like a dishwasher huh? But that left area fits WATER BOTTLES.

Unless you are a cyclist or married to one... you just wouldn't understand.

Stopped at a WALMART on our way home (on CHRISTMAS EVE - ugh). Installation went smoothly (go Josh!). Was done in time for Christmas Eve dinner.

Before everyone got there I got one of my Christmas presents. A NEW lens for Nik!! It was the 35mm f/1.8. I didn't take a photo of it, but I let it take LOTS of photos for me. It wasn't really a christmas present since we had saved the money for it, but I didn't want to spend the money, so Josh did it for me. Good husband. :-)

Josh's family came over. We ate BBQ (his family tradition - but Josh made my mom's recipe) and then opened presents. Josh was our Santa.

After this we went to his grandparent's church for Christmas Eve service. His grandfather is the music director and his grandmother sings in the choir. They probably won't be doing this much longer (they no longer live in our city and have to commute) so it could have been the last one. They were surprised. I think it was a good surprise. Who knows.

THEN WE HEARD THE TRAIN WHISTLE. There is a story about this whistle. Apparently when Josh was little he was so excited to hear it (he grew up in this area until grade school) that he ran, slipped and fell cracking his head open.

He hadn't heard it since then (we'd never in our hometown on Christmas Eve).

So we hear it and... huh what? THAT was the much anticipated train whistle? If you have seen Finding Nemo when Dory calls the whales, well that is what it sounded like. If Dory was dying. And speaking gibberish. It was BAD. We spoke in whale speak the whole way home!

So home. Pack up. Open presents to each other and then at 1AM we left for my parent's house. Why? It was supposed to sleet and freezing rain with terrible driving conditions. We arrived at 3AM. I drove. Josh slept. Jerk.

Oh. And see this gift. Notice there are two? We got the SAME gift for each other. So weird. Lol.

IT NEVER PRECIPITATED. Ugh.

So up at 6AM, presents opened by 7AM, back to bed until 9AM and then up again.

Family time. Family photos (see).

Dinner at Aunt and Uncle's house. Relax - sort of. Sleep. Up again. Drive. Christmas again at Josh's Aunt and Uncle's house. More photos. Home. Sleep. Up again. Prep. Christmas for 17 at OUR HOUSE. This is how we fit 17 people in our kitchen/dining area.

I realized I petered out there at the end. I am not sad Christmas is over anymore. I got tired just typing it all out again. Lol. This was a photo from the first night. Maybe I just KNEW.

(and doesn't my hair look so SHINY and AWESOME?)

So that was Christmas. All four crazy days of it. Oh, and the materialistic side of me wants to show you part of our take this year.

I think next year we might want to go on vacation during Christmas. Just maybe.

Ending on a fun note. I totally loved our Christmas tree this year.

*hugs and kisses*

One week. Again.

2010-01-08T10:21:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I feel like my entire life is a series of countdowns.

Countdowns until the next birthday, Christmas, a weekend with friends, weddings, anniversaries, a new big purchase, etc, etc.

I am a numbers person, so countdowns make me feel better. Most of the time. The unexciting countdowns just kind of put a damper of things though. First I was counting down until Christmas - yay! Then I counted down until the New Year - yay! Then I counted down until my surgery scheduling doctor appointment - not so yay. I was also counting down until the day AFTER that appointment to have my stitches removed - not so yay, but kind of yay because they were annoying me.

Now is the countdown to my quickly scheduled surgery - hm. Last year this time I was counting down to surgery as well, but that was more exciting.

I am having SUCH a hard time this time around. *kicks rocks*

I guess I can look at the bright side and say that for about two weeks post surgery I will be enjoying myself watching TV, reading books and interneting since I am couch bound per the doctors orders. DOCTORS ORDERS. I am not being lazy, I am just sticking to my New Year resolutions.

Maybe the new year IS bringing good things. *smirks*

*hugs and kisses*

Next Friday I will be...

2010-01-05T15:37:00.002-05:00

at the hospital. Surgery is scheduled for next Friday January 15th at time TBD.

The information is Dr. P will be doing laproscopic recurrent paraesophageal hernia repair. He will be using the same incision sites as before (yay no new scars!) and it will be another overnight hospital stay. Barium test the next morning.

He won't know what he's getting into until he's in there. It could be that the stitches ripped out and didn't heal correctly or it could be that my diaphragm muscle is just way too weak. This will help him determine if he will use a product called Strattice which is pig parts or there is the possibility of him using Goretex. There are pros and cons to each, and I am leaving the decision up to him.

Apparently he has some research to do for next Friday, but I think we mostly agreed on the Strattice unless something is really different from what we expect.

I'm a little - I don't know - anxious? My last surgery I couldn't schedule for 3 months. This one was scheduled in a week. My last one I was sick and miserable for, this one I have NO symptoms really.

If this doesn't work (PLEASE let it work) I will be shipped to Hopkins to get some attention from a specialist. I know a lot of people would want to go straight to the specialist, but I am weird. My brain doesn't work like that. If I GO to a specialist then this is a MAJOR problem. If I just get it fixed, it's fine.

So ummmm. Yeah. That's that.

On to my awesome night last night (because this post needs a pick me up!). First the wonderful husband (he puts up with SO much from me) and I went to AC Moore to pick up a foam ring and pins. What for? Oh, that post is coming.

Then we headed to Target to pick up a few items. Next to Kohl's to make some returns. After that we went into the mall. I exchanged some items and then headed to AE. I had a sweater my mom got me to return and some underwear.

While trying to find something to exchange the sweater for I found this.

Now before we even left home tonight I whined to Josh that I don't have a NICE winter coat. I have two performance jackets, a very old fleece TNF jacket, and a couple of cheap men's old navy jackets. Yeah. Bleh.

So I found the jacket above, in my size on the rack. I tried it on and FELL IN LOVE. Problem? The price. $149.95. I asked the girl working if she could double check the price for me. She rang it through and YAY $59.95 AND I had a $10 off coupon. Then she mentions if I spend $0.05 then I could use my other $10 off coupon. I send Josh over to find a button down shirt for him

He finds this for $24.95.

So the girl returns my sweater, rings up the coat and shirt. Takes 2 $10 coupons off. I give her an old gift card for $21.21 and another one for $25.

Grand total for this transaction is... $0.55. Yes seriously. And to make things even better they only had ONE of that coat in the store. Why? Because it wasn't stocked in our store and this jacket was a return. Want to know an even better? That jacket is on sale online for $89.95 ($30 more than I paid for it!) and Josh's was $29.95 ($5 more).

It takes so little to make me happy.

I also got an ORANGE silicone iPhone cover. Photos to come of that.

I needed to brag about that to counter the upcoming surgery stuff. *whew* I feel better.

*hugs and kisses*

Surgery Number Three...

2010-01-05T12:19:00.002-05:00

is TBD. Lol. I see the doctor in an hour.

In the meantime I bought an awesome navy peacoat last night, an orange iPhone cover and did all my Christmas returns.

Details later about that too.

*hugs and kisses*

Our updated house projects in 2010

2010-01-03T21:48:00.004-05:00

We have a fantastically tiled entryway at our house (Josh is a MASTER tiler now - or something). Problem? It still needed a rug of some sorts. Otherwise everything got tracked up the stairs. Ew. So after over a YEAR of searching we came up with a new idea after not finding the right size, colors, availability or price.

FLOR tiles. Josh doesn't usually get my visions, so I have to map them out quite specifically. When I found out Lowe's carried the FLOR carpet tiles I drug Josh there to show him. He agreed it would probably work. We figured out how many we would need and placed the order. Unfortunately they take almost two weeks to come in (boo) so we didn't have them in time to host our multiple Christmases here.

Josh picked them up on Wednesday and we "installed" them on Friday morning. More iPhone photos so don't critique them too terribly.

This was the first configuration we contemplated.

It was okay, but a little too expected for me. So we switched it up to this.

Ignore Josh's foot at the bottom. Lol. My mom said the other configuration was better, but I like this one. If you look at it walking in the front door, it looks like a big "C" which is our last name letter! It's subtle, but I thought it was cute. I am SUCH a dork.

So total cost for this little project was about $65 for a 80"x40" (6.5' x 3.5' ish) rug. Not bad!

We may get two more tiles for a little rug in front of the garage door. Hmmm.

So then SATURDAY we started another of my hair brained projects. I wanted shelves in the kitchen above our island thingy. The color is WAY off on the walls, but you get the idea.

Here is Josh hard at work on my vision.

And the final results!

I LOVE them. Before all those wine bottles sat on top of that island and so if you wanted it as a work space you either had to move everything, or it got all messy. The glasses took up tons of space in our cabinets that I wanted for other stuff. It also looks neat and clean (well for now).

Total cost for this project - $50

2 shelves at Lowe's - $8 each

3 - 2 packs of brackets at Lowe's - $8 each

2 wine bottle holders from Ikea (I found them in the CLEARANCE section) - $1 each

2 wine glass holders from Ikea (ALSO in the CLEARANCE section) - $1 each

1 can of spray paint to turn the white wine glass holders into silver to match - $4

2 packs of screws - $1 each

So far our house is becoming more homey. After never really doing much in all of our apartments that we lived in, all these projects make this place feel more and more like ours. I love it. *smile*

Up next is some frame painting I'm working on (I got them super cheap on clearance at target, but they were white and banged up). We also have the hallway from the 2nd to 3rd floor to paint and all the bedrooms and bathrooms. Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

*hugs and kisses*

How many can I break?

2010-01-02T14:19:00.003-05:00

I finally outlined my list of resolutions and goals for 2010. I don't know if I've ever really WROTE them down anywhere before. They are securely on my iPhone and now they will be on the internet for the world to hold me accountable and laugh when I break one within the first week.

Good thing I didn't add "be friendlier" to the list. Poor Josh.

Moving on.

1. Start listening to doctors orders.

[ The doctor told me after my first surgery - don't lift. My second surgery - don't lift. I helped Josh move a 300lb desk. I then helped his parents move. Hmmmm. Yeah. Oh, and my mole removal stitches I ripped out? *sigh* LISTEN BETTER!]

2. TRY to be less stubborn

[ This pertains to the first one, but expounds upon it more. I am stubborn. In all aspects of my life. I need to work on this. ]

3. FINISH projects

[ You know like our wedding scrapbook from 4 years ago this July. Or maybe those super cheap frames I bought to repaint and never did. Or that scarf I almost finished. I have lots of this stuff that needs done. ]

4. Spend less time on the internet to curb boredom. DO SOMETHING.

[ See how this can easily and neatly relate to number three? ]

5. Blog more

[ I think I'm doing ok, but some months I had sub 10 posts. We do A LOT, I want to keep track of it better so I can hopefully keep better perspective in 2010. ]

6. Take more photos

[ I photograph a lot now, but looking back, there is a lot I feel I missed. I need to start carrying my point and shoot around EVERYWHERE again and keeping the DSLR downstairs so I can grab it and go.]

7. Try one new recipe a month

[ I get stuck in a rut. I find something I like to make and make it a lot. We used to experiment more and just don't. This needs to change. ]

8. Find a full time job

[ I LOVE my job currently, but I would like to bring home more bacon. Boo to this prospect.]

9. Spend more time with friends and family

[ We always have plans to see people and it's always "well, we'll figure something out soon!" As soon as surgery is scheduled I am breaking out the calendar and a LOT of people are getting phone calls, texts and emails. Planning will commence!]

10. Declutter one target bag worth of stuff per month.

[ We have a 3 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom house with ample finished space and lots of unfinished storage space. And no room. Ugh. You know those projects I want to finish? If any are unfinished by December 2010 they are getting the boot. ]

So I don't think I have anything too lofty on here. Some practical, some home related, some lifestyle related, that pesky personality related one. A good mix I would say. Now notice there are no "lose 20 lbs in 2010!" on here. Ummm, that's just not my style.

Here is to a new year and a fresh start.

Expect lots more posts to come!

*hugs and kiss*

The END of 2009

2009-12-31T23:03:00.003-05:00

Sometimes the best laid plans fall through. And the last of 2009 was no different. With my arm stitches all messed up and my bleh mood (did I mention I got my period??) going "out" was just not on the books for this year.

Wait what? NOT do something for New Years?? WE have ALWAYS done something for New Years. **I** have ALWAYS done something for New Years. But this year, well, we just decided not to.

After hanging around during the morning we made the decision to drive to White Marsh, MD and see the new movie Avatar in IMAX 3D. I cuted myself up in my new tunic thing and off we went. Now, please don't click on the photo. It is an iPhone photo. I just can't seem to get a clear one!

So we got our 3D glasses and had to wait in line. So of COURSE we took more photos.

SO HOT right??

Okay, so the movie was AMAZING!! Even if you aren't a fantasy/sci-fi fan, this was just a visual delicacy. Seriously. The story was bleh, but I was so stimulated in the visual sense I stayed completely alert the WHOLE time.

There was a brew pub across the street from the theatre and we headed over there for some beer and food.

Both were good, but neither great.

Quick stop at a liquor store to grab some champagne and we headed back to PA in the rain. Ew. What a way to put a damper on an already yuck mood.

We've watched some recorded TV shows and played a board game... and it's only 11ish. Lol. HOW do we waste hours on end normal nights and be like "where did the time go?" and yet the one night we want to TRY to stay up we are looking at each other completely bored?

Ha.

Well to all my readers, have a great New Year. Enjoy your time with family and friends. Take nothing and no one for granted, unless they aren't worth your time. It's a new year, a fresh start. Take advantage.

*hugs and kisses*

Colorado or Bust (day 2)

2009-12-29T21:38:00.007-05:00

The plan for day 2 was a trip to Breckenridge. A friend who had lived in PA (whose folding table came in handy for Christmas!!) had come late day 1. We also had plans to meet with several other former PAers at the mountain.

The morning started with Josh the yoga instructor helping Kandice and Blake in a little pigeon pose. Jason was cooking breakfast during this.

The troops on the way! See me ALL the way in the BACK? We had a Kia Borrego as our rental and it was GREAT. We were able to seat 5 people plus 4 sets of equipment and bags! All the backs of the seats were plastic which was nice for the wet snow stuff too!! I'm easily impressed.

That's Josh in the light blue jacket and brown pants. This was him heading onto the lift for his first ski run EVER in CO!!

Kandice, Jason and Josh on the lift!! Nice picture guys!

Jason on the snowboard and Josh on the skis coming at me.

This is about 2 seconds before he covered me in snow. Jerk. :-P

The boys at the beach in Breck.

The ladies. It was COLD, but it felt so WARM. I LOVED the weather and the super blue skies!!

And while everyone was out on the mountain I took the gondola down to the town and did some site seeing.

Here I am! The mountain behind me and the town in front of/below me.

There are quite a few of these abandoned buildings on the main street. They are boarded up and I am somewhat assuming they are historical, but no one wants to do the upkeep so they are letting them go. Hmmmm. Not sure.

The mountain from the town.

Some old bar. The exterior is original and has been maintained. Very cool.

So what else happened while in Breck. Well, I got a free sample of elk jerky (I am not a huge jerky fan, so this was just meh), a free glass of wine (a shop was having wine tastings and I was the ONLY person around), and a free beavertail (don't be a pervert and click on the link to see it's FRIED DOUGH). I chatted with a super sweet girl at one shop, got hit on by some guy (he even asked for my number!) at another shop, and ran into someone originally from Harrisburg, PA in another! My only downfall of rudeness was The North Face shop where they were SUPER rude to me. Thanks for nothing.

A funny though. While perusing the town I criss crossed the main street several times. The town is VERY walker friendly and each cross walk has large signs letting vehicles know to yield. At one crosswalk I looked both ways, nodded to the parking attendant next to me and went to cross. I almost got ran over by an SUV!! Apparently he didn't see parking lady and sped up. There was another guy at the next block she radioed too and he got fined!! I was impressed they took my safety so seriously!

After the long day for every one else (me too - I did a LOT of walking) we all met at Bubba Gumps for some buy one get one free appetizers and drinks!

The table from left to right around. Josh, Eric, Jennie, Lauren, Blake, Megan, Jessie, Tom, Stacey, Kandice, Jason and me! I'm in a photo! Yay!! (and sorry if I butchered anyone's name)

After this we followed our friends to one of the guy's work parties. It was in this CRAZY huge awesome house. There were three floors and THREE kitchens. It was HUGE!

Kandice and I played with the cutest little girl while the boys drank beers. Josh somehow got roped into trying this.

He said it was like a bloody mary. I thought it tasted like ew. CLAM and TOMATO juice with BUD LIGHT, salt and lime?? WTF?? Apparently you will never get a hangover from drinking this. Well duh, because you can't stomach enough to get you drunk!!

Day 2 ended happily and we may have done some hot tubbing to soothe their sore bodies and my sore legs.

I think it was sometime around this day that I fell in LOVE with Colorado. It's just beautiful!

*hugs and kisses*

Colorado or Bust (day 1)

2009-12-29T20:57:00.000-05:00

Colorado or Bust was a 6 day, 5 night adventure in Colorado with our friends Kandice and Jason. It was one day a few months ago that Kandice and I discussed Southwest airlines having great sales. In less than 48 hours we had made a plan, purchased plane tickets and started mapping out our time out there.

Kandice and Jason were seasoned Colorado visitors, but it would be Josh and I's first time west of the Mississippi river and into the Rockies. I don't know why we waited this long.

We left York, PA for Baltimore, MD where we flew out at 8AM. Here is the story in photos with commentary.

The rest of the photos can be found HERE and HERE for your non-commentated viewing pleasure. The second HERE were taken with Nik my Nikon D60 DSLR. I mostly shot in manual modes. I need some SERIOUS practice.

So here starts the show. Enjoy!

This is how we look at 4:30am waiting for our friends to pick us up for the airport!

Initially I felt pretty okay on the way to the airport. I felt a little flutter in my stomach while waiting to board the plane. I was okay when we were waiting for all the passengers to board. The engines started up, we started to taxi down the runway and I completely lost it. I had taken half an Atavin. Apparently that wasn't enough. I sobbed and hyperventilated. Josh held my one hand and our friend Kandice held my leg. Jason thought I might ground the plane. Thank goodness that didn't happen! Once we got into the sky I was fine. It's going to take some work, but I'm sure I can get over that.

Here are some photos in the sky.

After we made it to the airport, got our bags, grabbed our FREE (thank you Kandice and your sweet hook up!!) rental car, we headed into Denver to meet a friend for lunch. He was working down the street from this place

They had a $5 lunch sandwich special that everyone else got. I ended up with this

cold frosty beverage and some buffalo chicken fingers (that were REALLY good).

After leaving our friend we headed to good old Golden, CO. Home of Coors Brewing Company.

This is Josh and the first time he was in the Rocky Mountain Air. Do you see the love on his face??

These are all the beers made by Coors. I had NO idea they owned Miller now, and the "moon" beers, and Leinenkugel!! Who knew??

So I found these bottles stuck to the wall with velcro. Being such a kid I immediately ripped them off the wall and we handed the camera to a bystander! We then started a trend and watched as people lined up to hold the bottles and pose. I'm SUCH a trendsetter.

The husband and I enjoying our free samples.

This was the visitor's entrance to the Coors factory. The actual factory stretches FIVE miles long!!

We took a winding road that let us look out over Golden. It was a breathtaking and windy road.

Here we are at Loveland Pass. It was THREE when we got out of the car and felt COLD. Josh ran up some steps that take you to exactly 12,000 feet and he almost passed out. Elevation changes are really serious.

Here are Jason and Josh at 12,000 feet. A guy said he was a professional photographer and took this photo. Ummm... it's okay.

This was the sunset as we traveled to our final destination of the day. In the valley you can see the lights of the resort we stayed at - Keystone. They are one of the only mountains that has night skiing!

Unpacking the car in the underground parking at our condo.

Not long after this we ended up hitting up a place for dinner. We went to The Goat Tavern. Jason talked this up as a GREAT place. Maybe when the season is in full swing and you want a great place to grab some beers and hang out with friends. NOT a place you go to when you want some comfort food because you are exhausted.

All in all day one was AMAZING!!

*hugs and kisses*

When they do external stitches

2009-12-29T17:32:00.002-05:00

sometimes they do internal ones. Internal stitches apparently look like white string. Very similar to, oh say... gauze strings.

Now when one of those internal strings pushes OUT (which apparently can happen), it can wrap around the external stitches.

A normal person would have tried to untangle what they could THINK was gauze string with their fingernails, but I had just cut all mine short.

So I grabbed my tweezers and yanked.

The string of obscenities that left my mouth as I sunk to my knees to the ground WHILE almost passing out was unbecoming of a non-sailor.

I undid and pulled out about 1/2 inch (slightly less... maybe) of internal stitches from the inside to the outside of my body. My arm is in PAIN. Lots of PAIN. I must have hit a nerve or something while quickly and efficiently undoing the hard work my dermatologist did.

After sheepishly confessing my stupidity to the derm's office I was told no repetitive work, no lifting ANYTHING - even my arm above my head, no driving even. Needless to say my day has been loads of unfun nothingness. Can I catch a BREAK??

2009 is working on ending as memorable as possible. Just not memorable in the good way.

*hugs and kisses*

Christmas is OVER!!

2009-12-28T12:49:00.001-05:00

Thank God. Seriously.

Stay tuned for my drained self to get back in action and actually update this thing. Right now I could just PASS OUT.

*hugs and kisses*

WARNING GROSS PICTURES

2009-12-23T20:31:00.004-05:00

Okay, so I warned you.

I had my abnormal skin cells (precancerous or something of the likes) removed from my upper right arm today. I'm right handed. Christmas is in one more day. We are hosting two Christmas's here and attending two more. F^$<

Whatever. All my news lately has been sucktastical. Let's just add something else stupid to the mix.

So Josh and I went in to the derm today and she is SO nice. She numbed me up and went to town. I chatted away, but could NOT look at what she was doing. She said she was making a small football shape around the biopsied area and then would stitch it up. Small? Really? Josh said it looked huge and gross. Good thing he has a strong stomach and didn't pass out while looking.

The nurse bandaged me all up and it was... ummm... large. Lol. It stuck up off my arm like 2 inches. Seriously. AND the tape wouldn't stick to my skin.

So I had Josh take pictures of the offending bandage before I ripped it off (supposed to be on for 24 hours).

Do you see how HUGE it is? And while that is what she said, that's NOT what she meant.

Okay and I know my arm looks HUGE and fat. Ignore that.

And I warned you it's gross.

Seriously.

So there it is. Awesome huh? And my arm hurts. It probably doesn't help I came straight home and started making more Christmas cookies. Lol.

So THIS is how I feel about Christmas this year

Thank you Oscar for this sentiment. (And that is my t-shirt. I Love Oscar.)

AND since I'm posting annoying and yuck pictures take a look at my knee. This is a week after I fell skiing. It was black right after.

Ew.

2010 better bring me good things. Like candy. I like candy.

And thank you to all my friends, internet, real life and just my everyday readers. I know I've been a poopyhead lately. It's just a phase. I'll get over it.

Someone asked me if I'd been naughty or nice this year. I thought about. I thought I'd been nice, but the way karma has been dumping on my lately (and not the good stuff) I'm afraid my original assessment is off.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVE EVE!!

*hugs and kisses*

News on the east coast

2009-12-17T18:20:00.003-05:00

Isn't all that awesome. Second opinion was the same as first (but the doctor was really rude). Debating another opinion. Details another day.

I miss the Rockies. Colorado is beautiful isn't it?

Red Rocks, CO

I'll eventually get this blog updated with more photos and details from our trip.

*hugs and kisses*

My new life goal is

2009-12-16T10:49:00.002-05:00

to live in Colorado one day. Our vacation was amazing and I am already plotting a way to get back ASAP.

I skied at Keystone, walked around the villages in Breckenridge, Keystone and Vail, got to see a little of Denver, Boulder and Broomfield, went to Golden and did the Coors brewery tour, went on amazingly scenic drives, had bluebird skies, had complete white outs while driving, saw Loveland Pass, went to Estes Park and the Rocky Mountain National Park, made sushi with friends, met up with Josh's cousin, met up with Josh's cousin's friend who lives in CO and went to my high school (small world?), saw elk, bighorn mountain sheep and mule deer, flew for my first time in a long time and managed not to ground the flight, met up with Josh's OTHER cousin in the airport while both waiting for flights and generally had an all out amazing experience.

I took hundreds of photos and will hopefully have a bit of photo commentary and more explanation of the longest run on sentence above.

Right now I'm EXHAUSTED and getting ready for a doctors appointment.

*hugs and kisses*

Plastic, Pig or Person?

2009-12-08T15:41:00.002-05:00

Those are my options to fix me.

So surgeon confirmed it is a paraesophageal hernia. It's not as terrifying as I read on the internets (stupid internets), but it isn't nothing either.

I will be needing surgery to fix this. Within the next 3 months.

I CAN however go skiing, traveling, etc until then. I will REALLY REALLY need this vacation to unwind, destress and not go crazy.

Here is what I was told. The fundoplication surgery did not CAUSE this issue, but it did help facilitate my stomach making the move upwards. When my hiatal hernia was fixed, no one realized how weak my diaphragm was or how strong the positive pressure in my abdomen was in relation to the potential weakness of the negative pressure of my chest cavity.

Therefor, the negative pressure helped pull my stomach up, while the positive pressure helped push it. My diaphragm couldn't handle all of that and allowed my stomach up through.

To fix this they need to insert something to help strengthen my diaphragm. Unfortunately this is not long term. It's all experimental and up in the air. There are newer and better things all the time, and not one of them is the perfect fit.

The plastic mesh is too hard and doesn't give like that area needs. It has also been know to saw into the esophagus. THAT is bad.

The pig parts are... well pig parts. They would have to kill the pig to get the parts. I will consider this if they promise me the bacon. ALL of the bacon. And some pork. Maybe even the ham. I don't eat pig's feet though, so they can keep those.

The people parts. Well they strip all the cells off the tissue leaving the matrices. They then strengthen the matrices. Then my own stem cells will fuse with the strengthened matrices and adhere to and strengthen the diaphragm.

The people parts option looks like what the doctor would like to move forward with. I have until January 5th to look into everything before I meet with Dr. Prats again. We will then discuss the options and make a decision and firm up a surgery date.

I may try to get a second opinion though. I just want to make sure this is the best road for me to take. This issue is long term and chronic. I most likely have several more surgeries in my future and constant monitoring.

Tomorrow I will be myself. I will be okay and bright and happy. Today though I will wallow in self-pity. Why? Because it sucks. I'm tired of the "it could be worse" thinking today. Today, it is my worst and it sucks.

*hugs and kisses*

It's kind of not funny anymore...

2009-12-07T21:54:00.003-05:00

So I tried to make light of this whole mysterious "thing" in my chest cavity. I made up interesting theories, joked with friends, nurses, doctors and medical staff, and generally managed to keep my mind off of it.

Up until this afternoon I was fine. Then I kept trying to get a hold of my surgeon. Several phone calls later and - nothing. I was frustrated and angry that I didn't know what was going on. I was highly emotionally agitated.

Sometimes I think I "just know."

At 6PM I got a phone call from Dr. Prats office. It was one of the nursing staff. It isn't any of my funny theories. It isn't the space from my old hiatal hernia. It isn't even a new hiatal hernia.

I have a paraesophageal hernia. It's the serious one.

Here is a quote from WebMD (not that I think this is the expert on these issues, but I am less so, and this pretty much says what the nurse told me over the phone) :

The paraesophageal hernia is less common, but is more cause for concern. The esophagus and stomach stay in their normal locations, but part of the stomach squeezes through the hiatus, landing it next to the esophagus. Although you can have this type of hernia without any symptoms, the danger is that the stomach can become "strangled," or have its blood supply shut off.

I asked some questions of the nurse and made an appointment to see Dr. Prats tomorrow.

I then proceeded to cry. And cry. And cry.

Yes, it could have been cancer. Or a tumor. I could have an inoperable problem. But it is none of those. And I've never really had any of those issues (besides the bit of skin cancer), so I don't know how bad it could be. Right now this is my worst thing though. MY worst thing. So far all my issues have been relatively benign and not scary. I CHOSE to have the fundoplication surgery knowing it COULD down the road cause problems.

This impending surgery is not something I can chose to have or not have. I have to have this fixed. It isn't an option.

Right now I have no idea how soon this will be taken care of and how much of an impact this will have on our upcoming (on THURSDAY) vacation. The nurse seemed to think it is unlikely I will be able to ski. I hope this won't be considered emergency surgery and keep me from going.

Here is a photo of what this looks like.

The problem with this (in my head) has to do with my toupet fundoplication. The whole top part of my stomach is wrapped around and stitched to my esophagus.

I can't keep speculating. I'll find out more tomorrow. I'll update more then. I'm upset right now.

*hugs and kisses*

Scanning the Thorax for Alien Babies

2009-12-07T11:22:00.002-05:00

I had my CAT scan this morning. Not sure why CAT needs to be shortened to CT. We are talking one letter and no extra syllables.

Weird.

So the tech/nurse preps me and lets me know that the dye will feel warm, I will get a metallic taste in my mouth and I will feel like I am peeing myself.

Check, check and oh yes, check.

They aren't kidding, you really truly feel like you've just peed your pants. Such an odd sensation!

This is what I hung out in.

Or at least something similar.

They are supposed to get the results to my surgeon by 1PM. Hopefully he calls shortly after that.

Dun dun dun...

*hugs and kisses*

Shrinkage

2009-12-04T17:14:00.005-05:00

It's not just for penises that are cold.

Lol.

Last year in December Josh and I went with friends to cut down our own Christmas trees. I had just picked up this super cheap black Land's End puffy vest. I think they were $10.

I kept vacillating between the M and the L. The M was too small, but the L seemed huge, so being typical "I'm not really THAT big" I bought the M.

Here is the photo of our tree hunting expedition. I am wearing said vest with a tank top and thin long sleeve t-shirt under it. The snaps look a little... strained.

This photo was taken last Friday. Same vest, same person, but with a kangaroo pocket hoodie underneath.

THE SNAPS ARE OKAY! They aren't even really straining!!

I would love to be like "well this was all because of my breast reduction that reduced my breast size thus allowing my clothes to fit better." But if you allow your eyes to wander south (not that south pervert) you see my stomach wasn't exactly allowing the snaps any reprieve. It is now baby!!

I've been under a lot of stress lately and this helped boost my spirits slightly.

That and I am losing POUNDS currently. Through my nose. And from coughing stuff up. Love being sick. Really. Not.

*hugs and kisses*

Let me add something to my December 1 post

2009-12-03T19:32:00.005-05:00

Monday December 7 at 9:30 I have a CAT scan. Why? Because I saw the surgeon today.

He was perplexed by the... mass. I enlightened him to my theories of aliens, worms and boobs. He then added his own theories.

Most likely it is a hiatal hernia (boo). Very slim chance it is just the space left behind from the fixed hernia. Even slimmer is the alien baby and coming in last and barely on the radar are my worms and third boob.

Although, if it IS alien we are flying to area 51 for fun. His treat! Weee!!

In all seriousness I did ask him what the plan was if it is a hernia. You'll never guess, so I'll just HAVE to tell you. Surgery!

Hm. So much for my potential new year's resolution of no surgeries in the upcoming year.

Oh, and the surgical resident was excited to meet me. Apparently I am something of a celebrity in the small world of local surgical residents. My surgery was interesting enough that it's discussed among them. It felt kind of weird.

Another funny of my visit was my offer to the nurse to see my x-rays. She was all "I don't really know what I'm loo *I pull out the x-ray* oh my god! Even I can see it's wrong." Awesome!!

*hugs and kisses*

I realize it's December and all...

2009-12-02T16:57:00.002-05:00

but can I add to my wishlist??

I want THIS.

It is a freaking heaven in brownie form!! And I can make rice crispy treats, and mini cakes, and any other tiny snack I want!

Please Santa, if you are listening... I NEED this. :-)

I found out about this from some internet friends. I participated in a gift exchange and sent my exchangee her gifts on Monday. She got them today!! Her husband had gotten her the magic posted above and had it sent to their house. Silly husband forgot she gets home first. Lol. BUT she's excited none the less.

People also started getting my Christmas/Holiday cards. Yay!!

I'm currently sick (boo) with super sore throat and monster head congestion. Tomorrow I meet with the surgeon about my alien baby.

Only 8 days until CO!

Only 21 days until Mole Removal!

Only 22 days until Operation too busy Christmas Season begins!

And Only 23 days until CHRISTMAS!!

*hugs and kisses*

It's December 1

2009-12-01T19:32:00.002-05:00

Which means only 24 days until Christmas. I love Christmas and normally adore this time of year, but things have been less than fabulous around here.

Let's do a list of things that is going crazy in my life as a way to deal with it and MOVE on.

1. My alien baby. Surgeon appointment on Thursday. I better get some answers.

2. Family issues. Teenagers are stupid. I love them, but stupid. *sigh* I screwed up too as a teenager, but when I was a teenager there wasn't the social networking or INTERNET or the over abundance of cell phones. Stupid.

3. A week from Thursday we leave for CO. The Ativan test went exceptionally well on Sunday. I'm still nervous about getting everything together and about the whole... you know... FLYING thing.

4. My christmas/holiday cards are out. Now I'm afraid I forgot people. Awesome.

5. I'm getting sick I fear. My throat is sore. Really sore. I have a tree to buy and decorate on Saturday!!

6. Still have presents to buy and wrap, and yet when?

7. Need to buy all the ingredients for Christmas cookies, make said cookies, wrap and distribute. Oh, and before all THAT I need to figure out WHAT I'm making.

8. Oh, and I have to pack for the trip.

9. The house is barely half decorated.

10. We are hosting TWO family Christmases at our house. This means we need to clean the house.

So want to be able to properly stalk my movements?

Thursday Dec 3 - surgeon appt

Friday Dec 4 - pick up friend WEDDING dress

Saturday Dec 5 - get Christmas tree

Sunday Dec 6 - pack and maybe make cookies

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday Dec 7,8,9 - work

Thursday Dec 10 - fly to CO!

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday Dec 11, 12, 13, 14 - hang out in CO and try to get together with some friends

Tuesday Dec 15 - fly back from CO

Wednesday Dec 16 - do lots of laundry

Thursday, Friday Dec 17, 18 - work

Saturday Dec 19 - finish shopping/wrapping for Christmas

Sunday Dec 20 - enjoy the day... or most likely clean the house

Monday Tuesday Dec 21, 22 - work

Wednesday Dec 23 - have my arm cut open to remove the pre-skin cancer cancer cells

Thursday Dec 24 - work early and begin food prep, then have immediate family Christmas

Friday Dec 25 - Christmas! Open gifts with Josh, then drive to parent's house

Saturday Dec 26 - Drive back from parent's house in time to make it to FIL side family Christmas

Sunday Dec 27 - Get up early to make food, and then host MIL side of family Christmas

Monday Dec 28 - SLEEP

Tuesday, Wednesday Dec 29, 30 - work

Thursday Dec 31 - New Year's EVE

Friday Jan 1 - Thank God it's the freakin new year and hope it's better than the last one!!

I might update now and then. If not either I'm doing the above things or I'm dead. Weeee!!

*hugs and kisses*

Happy Thanksgiving!

2009-11-25T22:39:00.003-05:00

From our house to yours.

We have lots to be thankful for this year.

I am especially thankful for the friends and family who have supported us both in real life and through this blog, email, facebook and good old snail mail.

*hugs and kisses*

Weird medical news

2009-11-23T22:58:00.005-05:00

I should be used to it right? Bleh.

This is the SUPER condensed version.

Last Wed, first appointment at new chiro.

He takes some x-rays, then comes in all concerned about the DETAILS of my fundoplication surgery. I tell him, he shows me my x-rays and there is something... abnormal on them.

I already had an appointment with SK on Monday (today) to discuss my flying anxiety so I decided to wait.

Pick up the x-rays at chiro office and head to SK.

She thinks things don't look right either.

Oh and I am SO thankful for the iphone in light of my 45 minute wait to see SK. That story involves an older patient who was having an allergic reaction, but waited all weekend just to go to the doctor office where she proceeded to go into cardiac arrest. AWESOME.

She sends me for MORE x-rays.

Do those.

Results - large hiatal hernia.

Um? BEFORE surgery I had a VERY SMALL almost non-existent hernia. Now it's the size of my fist when it the VERY SMALL hernia was fixed in Feb.

BUT, the radiologist would like to take a look at the original films that I picked up at the chiro's office early this morning. Chiro is old school films, radiologist is all on the computer.

So now tomorrow I have to get up early AGAIN and meet with the radiologist for him to look at the original films.

I have not gotten to sleep in since... last Monday?? OMG, I HATE mornings and this lack of sleeping in is ruining my LIFE.

Not quite, but almost.

Here is the image in question. It's the big perfectly ROUND thing in the middle of my chest.

My theories were:

1. Alien baby (I started watching V) - if this was the case I would make millions which would be awesome. SK even wants to be in a photo if this turns out to be the case. Lol.

2. Worm colony - there was this House episode where this porn star had worms. I ate a worm when I was little. I figured it just had dormant babies.

3. Third boob - since I had the reduction my breasts were angry and were creating a third interior boob to make up for lost tissue.

It looks like it's none of those, but the final diagnosis isn't confirmed yet!

Oh, and I got some Ativan for my flying anxiety.

*hugs and kisses*

My early Christmas present...

2009-11-19T23:00:00.003-05:00

is coming tomorrow. My mom is bringing it down. She is visiting as well.

I love when my mom visits.

It's even better when she brings presents like this.

It's the white 16gb 3gs iphone. Refurbed.

Happy one week until Thanksgiving!!

*hugs and kisses*

Christmas Wishlist part II

2009-11-17T16:17:00.002-05:00

So some other things I want for Christmas.

We are in DESPERATE need of some new kitchen utensils. We have a super duper cheap set from YEARS ago. I have a canister I like, so just the utensils would be nice. Like these.

Two or three spatula flipper things, a ladle, a slotted spoon, etc etc. There are also some cool Rachel Ray ones at Bed Bath and Beyond (which is where the picture is from) that are blue, but no one can tell Josh if that is what Santa brings me. He hates Rachel Ray. Lol.

I also can always use more spatulas. I like ones like this

See how it is all one piece? I like that because food goo doesn't get stuck in it.

Just to round out the BB&B wants there is this for the master bathroom Sigh. It would look SO good.

And that concludes today's wishlist. More to come?? Maybe

*hugs and kisses*

My Christmas Wishlist (Part 1)

2009-11-12T22:08:00.003-05:00

I enjoy shopping for other people, but I have a hard time coming up with a list on demand for myself. Here are some things I would like for anyone shopping for me.

So obviously all those panties in my LAST post. They are all from american eagle and I am a size medium if anyone is interested. :-P

I love christmas socks as well. Snowmen and snowflakes are my FAVORITE because I can pull them off from November all the way through March. I am not a huge santa and his reindeer fan.

These are not too Christmasy

but I LOVE these socks from AE

Christmas/winter decorations are FUN. Here is an example from Target.

and the rest of the "Be Merry" collection.

I love bright colors and the like. DUH, my favorite color is orange.

Hmm... my favorite winter candle is

If all goes well and I end up with an iphone as well I want

which can be found here (or something similar - orange and silicon are the only requirements).

Maybe an itunes gift card to get some apps that aren't free.

What else... hmmm... books. I like books. Either the real deal or gift cards are appropriate.

Gift cards anywhere are nice. Mainly I shop at AE for clothes, target for other stuff, home depot and lowes for house stuff, and well yeah... that's about it.

Oh, and I hate to be a total crazy person but I HATE purple just as an FYI. Orange, green, yellow, orange, pink, red, blue, orange, brown, grey, white, black, orange, etc etc etc... but NO PURPLE.

There are tons of odds and ends things I want, but I'll try to keep a list going and make a part two before Thanksgiving.

Oh gosh, I so do love Christmas.

*hugs and kisses*

Christmas is coming!

2009-11-10T18:20:00.003-05:00

In only 45 days. Yikes! Although I try to hold off my Christmas decorating until after Thanksgiving, I DID get out all my Christmas shirts, comfy pants, socks and... panties. Some of these are just winter items with snowflakes, snowmen (and snowwomen) and the like.

Regardless I counted as I washed them. When I got to 11 pairs of socks and 12 pairs of panties... I gave up.

Ummm... yeah. I am already scoping out these

for this year. Lol. Oh and these. And maybe these. Oh and I love these trees!! There may be more.

Oh I have issues. Lots and lots of issues. This issue is just one little one. Maybe all those years of old lady bras to fit the girls relegated me to overindulging the cuteness that graced my behind.

FYI we leave for CO in 30 days. OMG. I have to pack my snowflake panties!!

*hugs and kisses*

I have a rant/vent

2009-11-05T13:48:00.004-05:00

And I am sure it is going to sound ridiculous, but here goes.

Last night I watched a TV show I'd never seen before. It was the latest episode of Two and a Half Men that my friend had DVR'd. For those interested it was Season 7 Episode 6 "Give me your thumbs"

Friend was like "it's about breast reduction wanna watch?" And I'm like "oooohh, yeah" because 1. I had one of those 2. I'm obsessed with boobs anyway 3. Plastic surgery (of all kinds) fascinates me and I was wondering how a character on a show would pull off a transformation if they didn't do it in real life 4. I'm obsessed with boobs anyway.

I realize 2 and 4 are the same. I'm just stating facts here.

We kind of picked up mid show and Charlie Sheen's character's girlfriend (get that?) wants a breast reduction because SHE is in pain. His character tries to talk her out of it basically saying they are his too (something about if you fingerprinted her boobs it would be his hands all over them). There is also a little dialog with the plastic surgeon where the character says he is a huge fan of the surgeons work - when be makes women's boobs unbelievably large. Ha?

Okay, I realize the show is a comedy, but I wasn't laughing.

Even though she pleads she is in pain and uncomfortable she ends up NOT GETTING THE SURGERY. Why? The day of as they are waiting he mentions that now her ass will look huge because her boobs will be smaller and she freaks out and cancels the surgery.

Fan-freakin-tastic.

Awesome message. Big breasts are awesome and the only way to go. Reductions (even if for medical reasons) are gross, and bad and wrong.

Guess what? People in REAL life think that too and aren't afraid to express it.

Case in point. Neighbor has implants (good for her!). She had them done the same week as I had my reduction. When we were all talking people congratulated her... and asked me why I would ever do it.

Really? So implants are a perfectly normal totally awesome thing to do but another PLASTIC SURGERY meant to MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOURSELF is wrong.

Or let me rant about the MTV True Life show about my boobs are too big (or some title like that) too. ALL of the people on it didn't get the reduction because they weren't comfortable. Or there was a british show on about the same issue and again no one got the surgery.

Now I realize it isn't for everyone. Not everyone needs surgery, but some people really are at a point of frustration and are tired of living the way they do. No one should have to live in constant pain and if there is a fix for that why would you deny them?

And my favorite line from someone when discussing my surgery "Maybe you could just go to the gym and build your back muscles and maybe lose a little weight in them. You'd be more comfortable and get more out of it than the instant gratification of surgery." OMG how did she know? My insurance is covering it because apparently I'm a lazy fatass who just needs to lose a few pounds. Or MAYBE now that my breasts are smaller it is EASIER for me to work out at the gym without the skin irritation under my boobs, the stretch marks and the back pain. Who knew?

Okay, I'm heated and frustrated and unhappy about all this. I don't want a party because I chose something to make my life better, but what I would like is a little understanding for people that have not walked in my shoes.

And to my pre, post and still considering reduction girls - there is a LOT of support out there and I'm working on a post listing some blogs, testimonials, etc.

*hugs (without my boobs squishing up against anyone's body and smothering them anymore) and kisses*

Rest of Halloween 2009

2009-11-03T22:54:00.000-05:00

After the super busy whirlwind morning of travel, Josh and I got home with just enough time for him to shower away his nastiness and me to take a cat nap. 20 minutes of wonderfully restful sleep. Yay!

Then it was time to get my costume on and head over to our friends house to trick or treat. I had gotten a dress and some goodies to go as a flapper but I ditched that idea and went with my costume from two years ago... a ballerina! Last year I went as a cat toy (complete with bells and feather boa - and since I am always the photographer... no pictures of me) while my friend went as a cat. It was cute. I am always cute.

But two years ago we went as "fairies" which were ballerina costumes and... well nothing. But our littlest member was tinkerbell and we went with her.

I am protecting the innocent and possibly embarassed. I am on the right. Lol. I LOVE this costume. We (the adult friend and I) picked these up at a dance outlet store. They sell imperfect costumes and ones people never paid for. I think I paid $10 or $15 for mine. I kind of sort of want to go back and get another one...

Back to this year though.

It was raining. And cold. I decided to put on my ballerina costume, but add an off the shoulderish sweatshirt and leg warmers. Some over applied pink blush, blue eyeliner/eye shadow and a bun on top and voila!

See?

I took up the whole car seat!

But I did NOT take up the whole top of the costume. Although I have no pictures to show the top of the costume was now ROOMY instead of all squished uni-boob like before. LOVE the smaller boobs!!

Here is our little flapper...

She loved handing out candy!

And here is the lovely lady and I. This is the internet. I don't care if you see my face... hers I do.

A fun fact about those toe shoes around my neck... they doubled as a beer/cell phone/camera holder. Seriously. BEST accessory! Again no pictures. *sigh* Talk to Josh.

After trick or treating we took our friends Mikey and Amie (who had come to visit and brought their friend) back to our place to show them the "new" digs eat some dinner.

I made some pizzas and some mutual friends stopped by with their new BABY! Cash was SUPER cute.

Then it was time to head to a halloween party. Apparently only a few people got the memo and dressed up. I was one. Amie decided not to.

Here we are striking a pose.

And here is Kandice and I.

She was a "gold digger." Get it? The gold shovel??

Jason went as... Jason. Lame.

Mikey was eating while we were shot skiing. It was Amie's first time ever. Thumbs up!!

Kandice and I before we left.

So after we left there was a plan to go to gravity hill (the info for the closest one is at the bottom of this link). Then maybe Gettysburg to do some ghost hunting.

No one wanted to do any of the above except Mikey and I (which was just like college. The difference was in college we were still pretty self centered and would just hop in the car and go anyway. Now that we are adults we are more responsible, blah blah blah).

Instead we drove down the main college street and people watched all the slutty girls and drunk people and headed back home to watch a movie.

Sunday we played with Mikey and Amie's dogs Sam and Cooley.

Sam is the little one (yorkie?) and Cooley is the ewoky one (shitzu?).

They had to leave so we went out to Round the Clock Diner for brunch where the waitress was totally Mikey's match. LOVED it. Lol. He didn't even have a comeback to her!!

We saw them off, entertained Josh's family for a couple hours (they stopped by to see the painting progress, tile floor and finished 1/2 bath) and then headed to our friend's house for leftovers.

After dinner they showed us the chicken hat costume they got for their cat Sidney.

Here are the boys putting it on him.

"Seriously get this thing off me and quit taking pictures or I'll jump you and slash the camera."

"Come on. Please? This is embarrassing?"

Yes I added my own commentary. He was a good sport though!

And thus ends my Halloween extravaganza.

It made me tired just typing it all.

*hugs and kisses*

Oh November...

2009-11-02T12:17:00.007-05:00

I don't love you as much as October. October brings my family's birthdays (Pap AND Mom), in college it brought fall break (time to visit with said family), it brought falling leaves and most importantly it brought HALLOWEEN. Orange and black and ghosts and orange and pumpkins and orange and candy. I get to dress up, make a fool out of myself and wear crazy underwear that glows in the dark.

This year October was busier than usual, but just as great. It ended with a surprise whirlwind of activities.

Originally I wasn't sure if anything was going to happen. Things kind of kept falling through, but the week before the nothing happened everything happened. We made trick or treating plans with our little friend Fia. There was a Halloween party invitation. THEN last minute my Mikey called and asked if him and Amie (and a friend) could come up and spend Halloween with us.

[I will blog about all THIS in my very next post.]

That was fine, BUT we already had plans to drive to Newark, DE for Josh and Jason to go mountain biking at White Clay while I visited a very good friend in the hospital.

I've never met this friend before though. Strange as that sounds. We met on a chat board and bonded. She is such a strong positive girl. Unfortunately life has been handing her lemon after lemon. Michelle's blog is here. Check it out when you get a minute and give her some much needed encouragement.

We spent about two hours together talking about our mutual chat board and about life in general. She's transferring to Georgetown soon so she'll actually be further away, BUT I have friends down that way so I may be able to make a two for one stop soon. It would totally be worth it to see her again.

Now, I have to tell you a funny story about how I first "met" Michelle at the hospital. I got to the hospital and tried to get in. Door one - nope. Although it said "Temporary Main Entrance" it was locked. Uh huh. ER doors? Nope, the ER is temporary and you can't access the main hospital from there. Finally ALL the way on the OTHER side of the building is the "Main Entrance." Ugh.

Walk in the lobby and there are signs EVERYWHERE "Please check in at the visitors desk to obtain a visitors pass." I walk up to visitors desk and the lady asks "May I help you?"

"Yes, I am visiting a friend."

"Okay."

"She is on the 6th floor?"
"Do you need her room number?"
"No... I was getting a visitors pass."

"Oh, you don't need one! Just go on up."

*blink**blink*

Okay then. WHY are there all those signs??

So up the elevators I go. The 6th floor has a bunch of offices when you step off the elevator. Not what I was expecting. Now I was on the hunt to find the patient rooms. Five turns (and one back track) later and I made it. I find her room and she isn't there! Lol. Her FI was, but he was sleeping. I felt bad but I had driven all the way there...

I had to wake him up. Poor guy. He told me Michelle was at PT and he had no idea when she would be back. Okay then. Off to the gift shop I go. I am walking down the hall out of her room and I see a young woman in a wheelchair. Then I notice a little bit of pink and orange bra sticking out. It's Michelle! I bought her that bra!! Lololol.

Yes I noticed her because of her bra. Only I would find a friend due to what undergarments are encasing her breasts.

I was super happy to visit my friend and super sad to leave her. The stay seemed WAY too short so I am hoping to make it to visit her again very soon.

After leaving her I went to pick up the boys.

Here is what I came back to

Ew and ugh. At least the foliage was pretty...

The ride home not so pretty. This is what I rode next too. It smells worse than it looks.

And that was the end of the first half of my Halloween day.

Whew.

*hugs and kisses*

It's been busy around here!

2009-10-27T12:15:00.006-04:00

We've finally been on a painting spree. I say finally because our original paint buying started in May? Or March? Eh, it's been a while. After months of looking at paint chips we (well me, with lots of lobbying to convince Josh) chose the house colors. We bought paint for the entryway/stairs/upper hallway, kitchen, living room, master bedroom, and master bathroom.

Entryway/stairs/upper hallway Kitchen

Living Room

Master Bedroom Master Bathroom

The paint for the half bath downstairs was already purchased.

Yes it is that bright.

So why is it OCTOBER and we finally are really getting some painting done? Well because Josh did the flooring downstairs first (we replaced vinyl with tile). And then there may have been some marital discord over ways to paint, ways to tape, etc.

This discord made it so NO ONE wanted to paint. At all. September turned all that around and we (well Josh) started the downstairs entryway. I LOVE the color.

The before was... white. Bleh. See?

Well because of our techniques we needed to repaint some of the molding. Josh being industrious went to Home Depot and asked them to color match the small can of paint the builders left so we could repaint the molding but not the doors, etc. He came home all excited. Painted two coats. It was... pink. No lie. Not like super pink that I could take a picture of, but in incandescent light it was a very light pink. Uh oh.

He was angry. Very angry. I hid upstairs and cleaned. Next weekend he went BACK to Home Depot and guess what? The paint mixer guy did it WRONG. He tried color matching on his own instead of USING THE COLOR MATCH FORMULA IN THE COMPUTER. Seriously dude? Mean paint lady corrected it no problem and gave him a new can of paint. We really love our Behr paint. Lol.

So Saturday Jason came over and him and Josh took care of all the molding. It is white now. Just a plain white, but not a white white, but... well white. OMG painting and color stuff is EXHAUSTING.

Then the two of them decided it was time to do the kitchen. I was not expecting that really. They taped up and got started.

Ugh I was nervous. As you can see here the walls were WHITE. As is the whole house. I love orange and Josh agreed that anything but yellow would be good, so here we go. When it started the orange looked a little... peach. I was nervous.

But here is the finish product.

(yes the kitchen is a mess. no it's not put back together yet. sue me.)

I love it. I really do.

So next is our living room. We are waiting for the builders to come tear up our carpet to fix a squeaky board and we will paint then (because the furniture will be all pulled out for the carpet fix).

I'll do a whole slew of before and after pictures when we are ALL done. So check out the blog same time same place... next year? Lololol.

Here is the 1/2 bathroom downstairs.

Josh wants to put sunglasses down there as decor. Jerk.

Oh, and if you are a painting/color person I got all the swatches from HERE. Just put in your color and it will bring up all matches. Choose your brand and there you go!

Our color choices were:

Entryway/stairs/upper hallway - Behr's Porpoise

Kitchen - Behr's Vintage Orange

Living Room - Behr's Creek Bend

Master Bedroom - Behr's Sapphireberry

Master Bathroom - Behr's Caribbean Mist

Half Bathroom - Behr's Orange Burst

*hugs and kisses*

So now for the bad health news update...

2009-10-22T12:16:00.004-04:00

My beauty mark was sliced off. I was told that no news is good news if I didn't hear anything in a week. So Tuesday came and went with no news and all was well.

Yesterday was WEDNESDAY and I got a phone call from Derm Associates. I was informed that large beauty mark was JUST.A.MOLE. Yay! Then she says "but the other one we removed..." Now the next few seconds about a million things went whizzing around my brain. She could have said both moles were okay. She could have not used the phrase "BUT the other one." She could have finished the sentence with "... was JUST.A.MOLE. too." Yeah no.

She finished the sentence with something about the mole being aplastic (or dysplastic? or OMG YOUR MOLE HAS ISSUES AND NEEDS TO BE CUT OUT WITH A SHARP INSTRUMENT THAT WILL HURT FOR DAYS AFTER AND REQUIRE STITCHES). Oh wait, she mentioned the bolded part later while scheduling my next appointment. December 9th I get sliced and diced again. Seriously?

See here is the thing, for some reason I can handle large scale invasive surgery. Like rearranging my digestive system. Or cutting out large sections of super sensitive breast and nipple tissue and stitching the whole thing back together smaller and perkier. But a cut, a sore throat, a bruise and all holy hell breaks loose in our house and I become a complete whining baby.

Poor Josh. Poor me. At least it isn't cancer right?

*hugs and kisses*

Excellent Health Update!

2009-10-16T22:00:00.003-04:00

Last Thursday I went in for blood work as a follow up to my AWESOME cholesterol levels.

This time(ish) last year I had blood work.

My total cholesterol was 363. Normal according to my paperwork is <200

Borderline high is 200-239

High is >/= 240

My LDL (that's the bad stuff) was 289. Normal is <130

Borderline high risk is 130-159

High risk is >/= 160

HDL (the good stuff) was 53. It should be between 35-75. Yay! I win on that one!

Triglycerides were 106. The range is 20-150. Another win!

The CHOL:HDL Ratio for FEMALES

Moderate risk >5.17

High risk >6.39

Mine was 6.85. Ouch

For MALES (just in case I have some reading and interested)

Moderate risk >6.09

High risk >7.30

Basically that is a lot of numbers indicating one thing. That was BAD news. Now, I understand a lot of people don't put much stock in high cholesterol numbers. There are a lot more factors that go into determining whether or not "high cholesterol" really means an increased chance for heart disease. And a lot of those people do not have numbers that are almost double or triple the recommended numbers.

I understand the concerns with taking drugs to try to "fix" something that may or may not be broken is not what some people would do. But here is why *I* do it.

Because I can. Seriously. I have these tools at my disposal that may or may not make a difference in my future health. If I were to find out that I did not use something that was available to me that could prevent future problems I think it would bother me. No, I know it would bother me.

Yes I am placing a lot of faith in science, pharmaceutical companies, researchers and doctors. I'm not very into conspiracy theories. Sorry.

So back to ME.

Blood work. Last Thursday. Results today.

Ready??

Total Cholesterol - 308!

LDL - 229!

HDL - 55!

Ratio - 5.70!

Triglycerides - 124 (I like carbs. Sue me.)

How did I get here?

Yep. That big bottle (of 180 tablets for those reading it) lasts ONE MONTH. You take SIX per day. This is how large they are.

Okay that isn't ACTUAL size. But break out your meter stick and check it out. They are NOT small.

So six of those a day for 6 months (I didn't start taking them religiously until April after my breast reduction surgery) and you can see where I'm at. I would love to get under 300 total, but we'll see what happens.

Now, according to SK (and I know she's right), if I were on Lipitor (or another statin) I would most likely be well under that 300 mark. But I will not take Lipitor.

That's for another post.

But on other good news quickly (we're watching a movie)...

My glucose levels are also down (102 --> 88).

Just a tad bit of bad news. My ex beauty mark area that is now a HOLE in my back is slightly infected. It's super painful and red around the edges. If it gets worse I have to make a phone call on Monday to get some antibiotics. Ugh.

Two out of three ain't bad.

*hugs and kisses*

More slicing and dicing.

2009-10-14T12:37:00.004-04:00

So I FINALLY made a dermatologist appointment. I've needed to make this for like 10 years now. Whatever. Actually I made the appointment back in... oh... MAY. It was yesterday. Dermatologists around here are hard to come by.

Let me take that back, GOOD dermatologists around here are hard to come by. In fact, my GP's office suggested I take my moldy body all the way to Lancaster (a whole 30 minute drive!) to see the derm office over there. So off I went yesterday to Dermatology Associates of Lancaster.

The office ladies were super nice and helpful. The waiting room was clean and well maintained too. And full of old people. I was the youngest person in there by... 40 years or more. Ha.

Why did I do all this? Well because of the photo below.

See that? That's my beauty mark. Cindy and Marilyn may have rocked them on their faces, but mine was shyer and ended up on my back. It used to be large and flat and happy. I liked it. It added character to the vast barren landscape of my back.

And just so you know I did not take this picture just to show off my mark. This photo is a cropped photo of my super sun burnt back at the beginning of summer. I'm not a complete photo taking freak. I didn't even take a picture of the cool owl necklace I wore yesterday that everyone complimented me on. (Yet. *hrmph*)

So back to my mole (who am I kidding calling it a beauty mark?). It was big and flat for YEARS and then two years ago it raised up. One theory of mine was that it felt like my ever expanding chest was in competition and felt it had to do SOMETHING so it grew too. OR, my body felt it necessary to balance me out. Hmmmm, who knows.

I assumed I would go yesterday they would look at everything, say all was well, MAYBE discuss removing my friend in the future and all would be well.

Ummm... she took one look at it and said "that's coming off today." Huh what? Like, ummmm, okay. I guess. Now I do not like to show fear to doctors (weird right?) so while my whole "huh what?" was going through my brain my mouth was all "yeah sure awesome! no problem! what pinch? Oh look at that lump of mole you just cut off and placed in that jar!" Ugh. She took one off my arm too.

She is considering removing the one on the bottom of my foot as well. Apparently bottom of foot moles have a higher rate of skin cancer? Weird.

I should hear in a week.

And wouldn't you know it that the nurse (who totally saw me all but naked in just a tiny bra and tinier panties) is the sister of one of Josh's teammates. I was in LANCASTER people!! And somehow I ran into someone who knows someone I know. Hi nurse!

I'll keep you all updated on my moldy outcome.

I see SK on Friday for a general wellness checkup.

*hugs and kisses*

It's someone's birthday today!!

2009-10-12T21:48:00.002-04:00

My Mom is celebrating her 29th birthday (for the 22nd time)!!

Actually I celebrated it with her last weekend at her house. And this weekend down here.

And I called her today.

She got a new camera too. It was a this one.

I've been busier than usual.

Life is good and filled with lots of family and friend time. I have no idea when I'll get a chance to blog again. Someday I'll get back on the bandwagon.

*hugs and kisses*

Photographs

2009-10-06T11:16:00.005-04:00

Tonight is my first of three advanced digital photography classes. I'm excited but apprehensive. I had a dream that I got there and it was all *ahem* older students. They kept asking questions like "how do I turn this on again?" "where is the push button to make it go?" "oops, I turned it off, where is the on button again?" for the whole two hours and I left in tears. Let's hope THAT dream doesn't come true.

I obviously know how to use a camera, but I want to be able to use it better and take more interesting photographs.

I did take this fun picture this weekend. It looks slightly better in black and white. I think I may actually print this and frame it.

I also took this picture of my mommy. Her birthday is Columbus day, but I was home celebrating with the rest of the family this weekend. She's so pretty. :-)

Wish me luck tonight!

*hugs and kisses*

A Quick Review

2009-09-25T13:31:00.004-04:00

So TWO Sundays ago (September 13th) is where we will begin.

Josh had a bike race

Our college friends Nina and Greg came (and brought their dog Casey!)

They watched the race, got accosted by the local HOCKEY (???) mascot, and then we all had lunch.

Immediately after our late lunch we headed off to the beach for a week. All I have to say is eh.

A few highlights though.

Josh looks like he may have almost master skim boarding.

*I* actually played in the water!! Whoa. This was like the ocean kiddie pool. There was a wide sandbar that the waves broke on and then the ocean just filled the area between the sand bar and the beach with little baby waves.

Josh got his freshly uncasked (at 4:30pm) punkin ale (at 4:30pm) straight from the source! We were the only people on the outside deck at Dogfish Head.

Ummm... I just liked this picture and wanted another photo of me.

And finally... on Friday September 18 our friend's Jason and Kandice got ENGAGED!

Here is a photo I took of the beautiful ring that I took for the bride-to-be.

*hugs and kisses*

I was on a mental health vacation...

2009-09-21T09:43:00.003-04:00

and a real one too. Unfortunately it didn't really work out in either capacity. *sigh* Josh and I are contemplating another shorter vacation to make up for it. Camping maybe?

So that is why I haven't posted in like... 10 days. My number of September posts ranks right up there with my July posts. Both are busy months. This month though I just don't feel like sharing anything.

Maybe I'll feel like sharing something later. We'll see.

*hugs and kisses*

Today is a sad day...

2009-09-10T15:58:00.002-04:00

Our "family" dog died today. I say "family" because she was a birthday gift for my brother, I picked her out, BUT she was always my mom's dog.

She was old and lumpy. She had a tumor on her hip. She has been getting much sicker in the past couple of weeks.

Today my mom took her to a second vet for an opinion because she wasn't getting better and they wouldn't listen.

Shiloh had a seizure and passed away today.

My mom was with her at least. :-(

today I think I need the *hugs*

Yay! One hundred... and one.

2009-09-09T15:51:00.003-04:00

At least I was able to make a full circle on posts. I started this blog as a means of discussing my medical history, surgeries and what was coming up.

And it just so happened that my 100th post was about the medical community! Maybe not a good post about them though... but let's be honest. When in life is anything every 100% perfect? Besides me of course.

I have to confess though. For the past like FIFTEEN posts I keep thinking "hmmm, I can't wait until post 100 and I'll do something cool." Then like when I saw I only had 7 left I was like "sweet! Only 7 more!" And I did this up until like 3 posts left.

Somehow I then missed the fact that I posted 3 times. Oops. Ummm, duh. Lol. So maybe I'm not 100% perfect. Only maybe 99%.

I'll make a post about this past weekend soooooooon. I promise.

Right now I'm off to ZUMBA!! The new session starts tonight. And then I have to miss the next two days of it (we'll be at the BEACH). Oh well.

And I just wanted to say hi to C.B. and J.K. who I found out both read my blog often. I did say TMI in that one post!!

*hugs and kisses*

I win! Only slightly though.

2009-09-07T22:15:00.000-04:00

Two weeks ago I got a bill from the place that had inserted my IUD. It was for $265.92. I figured they just didn't get my insurance money yet and by the time I went in last Monday for my check up, all would be okay.

Yeah... no. They made me pay the $265.92 before I could see the doctor. I questioned the bill and she tried to explain it to me, but something wasn't right and the office manager wasn't in.

So I tried to call last Monday afternoon when the office manager was supposed to be in. No luck. I left a message for her to call me. No call. Tuesday - No call.

Last Wednesday I decided to do a little more digging and called my insurance company. Hmmm... insurance company did not like what I had to tell them and wanted me to submit my receipts as it seemed as though the office was "double dipping."

I gave the office one last chance. No office manager again, but miraculously when I said I had called my insurance and they agreed something was wrong the lady promised I would have a phone call by Thursday afternoon.

Not 15 minutes after I had hung up with them (and this was on Wednesday) I got a return phone call that they had just made a silly little mistake. Yeah. Silly. Little. Mistake. To the tune of $265.92. If I would have not paid that amount to the doctor's office they would have surely sent me to collections. Awesome.

I don't know what really happened, and I hate to accuse them of anything since I don't really KNOW. BUT, it seems really crazy that I had to call multiple times to get anyone to listen to me and if I had not I would have been out the money. Think how many times you just accept a doctor's bill without questioning the amount and end up just giving them extra money.

Not cool at all.

But this time, and maybe only this time, but this time *I* win. Yay!

*hugs and kisses*

A Chilly Start to September

2009-09-01T10:35:00.004-04:00

The temperatures took a nose dive at the start of the week. Last week I was in shorts and tank tops "glistening" - bwahahah, who am I kidding?? I SWEAT! This week I'm in jeans and light sweaters shivering.

My favorite part of slightly cooler weather though is Josh letting us keep the windows open! Oh how I love the smell of fresh air circulating through the house. It's so crisp and refreshing. That is where my love of cooler weather used to end.

Because then morning hits. I can NOT get out of bed when we have the windows open. It's so cool in the bedroom and so warm and snuggly in our bed. Only when the need to pee outweighs the snuggle factor can I force myself out of bed.

This morning was no different. I layed there for at least 30 minutes just enjoying the snuggly warmth of the bed and the cool breeze on my face. When I got downstairs I heard the kids at the daycare down the road yelling and laughing. It put a huge smile on my face.

Something is not right though. Warm summer mornings and HOT summer days used to put the smile on my face. I used to GREATLY anticipate the hottest weather of the year. For some reason this summer did nothing to lift my spirits. Nothing.

And yet today, when it's slightly chilly, I feel good. Really good. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?? My theory is when I went in for one of the two surgeries Josh paid off the surgeon to do something to alter my love of hot weather to a love of cooler weather. Other than that I am just a freak of nature.

BUT, I do anticipate one thing around this time every year...

HALLOWEEN, PUMPKINS and indulging my obsession with ORANGE!!

Halloween Decorations in Living Room 2008

My PumpkinJosh's Pumpkin

*hugs and kisses*

Carry over to Monday...

2009-08-31T12:23:00.006-04:00

I'm still basking in our fabulous Sunday. More pictures. Yes I know it looks like Josh is peeing sunset into the water pump. Lol. That was intentional.

The last post water pump photo was Josh's. This is my take on it. I like mine better.

Kinda looks like a mini/short stonehenge. Not really.

I am laying with my head north. See?

Awww... good picture of me husband!

A quote which I don't remember. Lol.

Mason Dixon Trail.

Pretty sunset.

I caught the moon peeking over this flower.

The clouds were phenomenally pretty.

Some pictures of the husband in different lighting and settings.

Sunset, us in sunset (what odd faces on both of us) and then the final picture.

After this we went to Mack's Ice Cream outside of Hellam. I got fresh CANTALOUPE ice cream (and oreo). Josh got fresh PEACH ice cream. I can't even describe how amazingly delicious these were. I think I may need to go back for a pint of that cantaloupe. It's my favorite fruit!

Just remember to bring cash if you hit up Mack's!

*hugs and kisses*

A Swell Sunday

2009-08-30T21:17:00.008-04:00

Originally today we were supposed to hit up Virgin Mobile Freefest today in Columbia, MD. I managed to score some tickets thanks to a friend I chat with on the internet. :0)

And even with the awesome line up (Girl Talk, Weezer, Blink 182, Taking Back Sunday and more...) we decided to bag it. Why? Although the idea of a concert is fantastic, the actual concert makes me cringe. I am NOT a crowd person. As much as I love people and LOVE being in FRONT of a crowd, being IN a crowd make me want to ball up and cry.

Oh wait. I've done that. The last time was in high school (it was fourth of July, I lost my friends, I sat on a curb in the middle of a crowd and cried until someone found me). I was 18. *sigh*

Since then I have managed to not actually do the whole sitting down and crying thing, but I still start to hyperventilate a little sometimes. I do slightly better at concerts if there are seats. This concert was not to have seats. And there would be LOTS of people at this sold out event.

The closer it got, the more nervous I got. Josh is the best husband in the world, knew I was getting apprehensive and this morning we decided to just stay home. We did manage to find some friends interested in the show who took the tickets from us today (hope it was good!).

THEN I made Josh a happy little camper. He's been missing his favorite Skull Candy ear buds (that I bought on clearance because they were blue and Josh was all like "WHY did you buy those for me?" and I was all like "because they were on SALE and they were BLUE." And he was like "You'd probably buy crap - literally - if it was on sale." And I was all like "Only if it was blue." And he rolled his eyes. And then I said "Fine, I'll return them." But then I didn't and then he fell in love with them and he completely ignored the fact he didn't want them in the first place. So I win.) since FOREVER and he was soooo upset.

Guess who found them today? Oh yes. I am the freaking most awesomest person ever.

As my reward he agreed to grab some dinner and go to a park. We grabbed subs at Jim and Nena's. I had suggested Same Lewis. Josh wanted something new. So instead we headed to Highpoint Scenic Vista (the Mason Dixon Trail goes RIGHT through here).

This whole post started as a reason to post some pictures. That was a lot of words just for some pictures. Lol.

There are more pictures. And more story (involving ice cream!). But it's late and I'm tired.

*hugs and kisses*

NOT what I expected (another TMI one - no pictures though)

2009-08-27T17:17:00.003-04:00

Birth control = lack of babies = yay!

Hormonal birth control = lack of babies = yay!

NON hormonal birth control = lack of babies AND lack of additional hormones in my body = yay yay!

OR so I thought.

The IUD was inserted on July 30th. This past Saturday my period began. I wasn't expecting it yet. I didn't discover it (I'm leaving that to your imagination, but sorry husband).

Not much bleeding on Sunday so I assumed success on my continued short, sweet, harmless periods.

But Monday morning rolled around AND THEN THE FREAKING FLOOD GATES OPENED. I THINK I'M SLOWLY BLEEDING TO DEATH. I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I'M KIDDING.

I have NEVER had a period this long, this painful, this... plentiful. PLEASE POWERS THAT BE, MAKE.IT.STOP.

It's Thursday currently. I am in pain. I can't seem to stop bleeding, and bleeding a lot. It's also normally a darker maroon color ( I told you this one was TMI ) and right now it's bright freaking red.

I've asked some people on a message board and apparently this is quite normal for the first 3-4 months of periods on the paragard. Some suggested the Mirena (which has hormones and keeps you from getting your period while you have it in for most people), but that defeats my purpose of trying to no longer use hormones.

So only 3 ish more weeks of this (not all together, but spread out over the course of the next few month) and hopefully things will get back on track.

Remind me of this when and if this period ends, I don't die, and another period from hell begins.

All this to NOT have to go through with having a child. Maybe it is worth it.

*hugs and kisses*