Seriously?? WARNING: BATHROOM RELATED

AGAIN.

Remember I keep saying this blog contains Too Much Information. And here is another little tidbit to attest to that.

So for about 4 days now I have had diarrhea. Yes it hurts again at this point. No I don't know why besides MY DIGESTIVE SYSTEM HATES ME. Hates. A lot. Hates. Anyway, I am just setting you up for another fun public restroom story.

Josh and I decided to go to dinner tonight. We did. Then we went to Bed Bath and Beyond because for the first time in those 4 days I didn't feel like I had to hit the bathroom IMMEDIATELY after eating. I was excited! Whatever. Josh then mentions how he would like to look at some iPhone paraphernalia at Best Buy since he gets his in MARCH. Countdown is somewhere around T-20 days. Work is paying for it, hence the waiting.

We look at iPhone stuff, we look at LED tv's (OMG I totally want one. The color is so BRIGHT and pretty!), we looked at cameras, we looked at printers and then it hit. Ugh. Seriously?? Of COURSE I am on the other side of the store.

So I do my poop waddle to the bathrooms. I look at the one directly in front of me and it says "men" (this is important - trust me), so I duck in the one to my left NOT looking at the sign. For the second public restroom issue, the bathroom is CLEAR!! No one in it. Yay!!

I'll spare you the super gross details, but suffice it to say someone comes in before I'm finished. Singing. It's a DUDE!! Like a male dude. Like with a penis (I assume).

Holy SH!T literally!! I totally freeze. Did I walk into the wrong restroom?? Did I totally not pay attention to the sign?? There aren't urinals in here. This shouldn't be a guys restroom, but is it?? What is going on??

Dude sings his way into the handicapped stall, locks the door, sits down and starts farting. Then pooping. Again? AGAIN?? HOW does this keep happening?

I finish up very quickly, grab my stuff, spring out of the stall, and try to wash my hands while keeping an eye on that handicap stall door praying to a MUCH higher power not to let it open. While doing so another WOMAN walks in. What do I say? "Ummmm, there is a dude in the end stall, watch out?" Then he would hear me. Then we would both be embarrassed. Nope, I just ran.

I find Josh and tell him the whole story and he proceeds to laugh at me. We tried waiting and watching to see the guy (I saw his shoes), but after 5 minutes I decided it was better to just leave.

I am done shopping after eating. Done. *sigh*

*hugs and kisses*

mj