One week and I hope I don't pee the bed!

During my college years a funny little story happened.  After a long night of drinking I woke up in my lofted bed and realized my bed was wet.  Like really wet.  I had a little conversation with myself that went as follows:

Me: Did I really pee the bed last night??

Me: I don't really remember coming home.

Me: Oh God, I don't want anyone to KNOW I peed the bed.

Me: So what are you going to do about it.

Me: Quick! Strip the bed and wash the sheets before your roommates wake up.

Me: First shove the other person snoring on your bed off (sorry Josh, but this was before we were dating - mom, ignore this completely)  and pray you didn't pee on them.

Now this conversation took longer than it seems due to my already muddled mind and the possible hangover I was experiencing.  I got rid of the other person, stripped the bed, threw on shoes and went running to the laundry room.  As I get to the room I lift the sheets into the washer and realize that they smell.... like... Catwalk shampoo **side note - read below**... and... *sniff*... Dove body wash? Wait, my hair is kind of crunchy, and are those .... dried SOAP bubbles on my arm??  If you haven't figured it out by now, I didn't actually pee the bed.  I had showered like I normally did after every night out (I am somewhat of a germ-a-phobe) and apparently forgot to dry myself off.  AT ALL.  

I washed my sheets anyway that day and then proceeded to tell everyone my funny story since I didn't REALLY pee the bed.

**my side note** Catwalk Sex-Up Shampoo made me friends in college when several of us had the same shampoo in the shared bathrooms.  This stuff was amazing and smelled like pink lemonade.  We also all swore it was the only stuff that got cigarette smoke and sticky shots out of our hair while leaving only a nice scent and soft hair.  I have never worked for Tigi ** 

Now post college I wasn't so lucky.  This past November I was at Memorial getting another EGD done to check out my ulcers.  I was not supposed to eat or drink anything for 12 hours prior which is no big deal.  Apparently I hadn't been drinking much BEFORE my 12 hour fast either.  I get taken back to my bed (while Josh enjoys the new facility's lounge that has flat screen TV's and a coffee bar) and my nurse is the same lady I had almost two years ago, Lucy!  I won't go into all the details and cut to the chase where Lucy can't seem to find a vein.  

I have never in my life had problems with someone finding a vein.  I have oodles of them just anticipating being pricked, poked and prodded.  Why can't Lucy find them?  She explains that I am really dehydrated and as soon as she gets the IV in, she'll give me extra fluids.  Lucy finally succeeds, finds a vein and gets the IV in first try (she told me if she hadn't I would be the first time in her entire career she had to try twice to get an IV in!).  At this point Lucy must have REALLY pumped up the fluid dripping into my body.

Fast forward to post procedure and I wake up and ask for Josh.  Now this isn't regular anesthesia that knocks you out completely.  I was awake during the whole procedure I just don't remember anything (which always worries me since I talk so much and have so little filter while I'm AWAKE... hmmm...)  When I wake up again (that's a weird feeling) he's there and I tell him I really have to pee.  He helps me pull back the covers and guess what?  I completely peed the bed already.  Josh is like "sweetie, you peed the bed, let's get you covered up."  I was like "no, I have to walk to the bathroom," and off I go to across the open room with a wet bottom.  Josh tried to cover me up, but I was not having any of that.  

After getting back into bed post my escapade to the bathroom (the doctor still had to talk to me and then release me), I proceed to call over all the nurses and explain to them I now know what a porn star feels like because the back of my throat hurts so bad.  *slaps forehead*  Seriously?  I can NOT be left in a state like this without a gag.  

Today I am one week out until my surgery and I'm nervous, but only for what I might say or do, not the actual surgery.  I really appreciate every one's presurgery well wishes and offers to help out!  Thank you SO much!

I have to stop all my medication today (ugh, no reflux relief) and start getting all my ducks in a row so that post surgery I am comfortable and entertained.  I'm going to try to start watching the Big Love series and also start with season 1 of 30 Rock since I love Tina Fey, but just haven't been able to appreciate her in that show yet.  

Oh, and Josh is happy little boy right now since he got his new Masi frame two days ago, his fork came today and he picked up the rest of the parts he needs last night.  We are just one happy little family right now!

*hugs and kisses*

mj